Time is controllable, no?!

Friday, September 30, 2005
Yesterday we turned into the winter timing, which means we are GMT + 2 instead of being GMT +3. When it was 12 p.m., our clocks were set to 11 p.m. An increase of a whole hour!

Which made me think, then time is controllable. The common complaint these days are, we are running out time, we can’t catch up with our deadlines, time is flying without accomplishing what we planned for, etc..

Then why not increase the hours of the day, put an extra hour whenever we want, make the day 25 hours instead of 24?! Is it possible? Yeah sure why not? Isn’t it us who made it 24 hours, then it’s us who could make it 25.

But what is time?!

Checking the wikipedia for a definition of time, I came across the

"Attempting to understand time has long been a prime occupation for philosophers and scientists. There are widely divergent views about its meaning, hence it is difficult to provide an uncontroversial and clear definition of time except its physical definition, which dictionaries give as "a non-spatial linear continuum wherein events occur in an apparently irreversible order." This article looks at some of the main philosophical and scientific issues relating to time.

The measurement of time has also occupied scientists and technologists, and was a prime motivation in astronomy. Time is also a matter of significant social importance, having economic value ("time is money") as well as personal value due to an awareness of the limited time in each day and in our lives. Time has long been an important theme for writers, artists and philosophers. Units of time have been agreed upon to quantify the duration of events and the intervals between them. Regularly recurring events and objects with apparently periodic motion have long served as standards for units of time - such as the apparent motion of the sun across the sky, the phases of the moon, the swing of a pendulum.

Philosophy of time:

In ancient thought, Zeno's paradoxes challenged the conception of infinite divisibility, and eventually led to the development of calculus. Parmenides (of whom Zeno was a follower) believed that time, motion, and change were illusions, basing this on a rather interesting argument. More recently, McTaggart held a similar belief.

Newton believed time and space form a container for events, which is as real as the objects it contains. In contrast, Leibniz believed that time and space are a conceptual apparatus describing the interrelations between events.
Leibniz and others thought of time as a fundamental part of an
abstract conceptual framework, together with space and number, within which we sequence events, quantify their duration, and compare the motions of objects. In this view, time does not refer to any kind of entity that "flows", that objects "move through", or that is a "container" for events.

The bucket argument proved problematic for Leibniz, and his account fell into disfavour, at least amongst scientists, until the development of Mach's principle. Modern physics views the curvature of spacetime around an object as much a feature of that object as are its mass and volume.

Immanuel Kant, in the Critique of Pure Reason, described time as an a priori notion that allows us (together with other a priori notions such as space) to comprehend sense experience. With Kant, neither space nor time are conceived as substances, but rather both are elements of a systematic framework we use to structure our experience. Spatial measurements are used to quantify how far apart objects are, and temporal measurements are used to quantify how far apart events occur.

Nietzsche, inspired by the concept of eternal return in his book Thus Spake Zarathustra, argued that time possesses a circular characteristic. Postulating an infinite past, "all things" must have come to pass therein; the same for an infinite future.

In Existentialism, time is considered fundamental to the question of being, in particular by the philosopher Martin Heidegger."

Another definition that someone I know thought of was;

“I personally believe that time would make absolutely no sense if there were not changing, evolving and constatly moving 'things'. Time exists because things exist as they are. This is how I believe that time is an illusion. I believe that life is what makes time moves. Life also could take us in an unconcious cycle where time is equivalent to fulfilling expectations and production, clock machines, appointments and schedules without realising that 'time' is not just mathematical patterns but 'life' itself.

There would have never been anything like 9pm if there was nothing to make it significant. What I am trying to get to is. When I say .. Hey ! Don't take time for granted ! I am not talking about the years and days .. but I am rather saying " Hey! Save yourself!" ...”

What am I trying to reach here?! I don’t know, it’s just a thought!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:18 PM, | 1 comments

Life is too short

Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Life is too short to live the same moment twice!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:04 PM, | 6 comments

The art of asking questions!

My fourth day is over, a bit better than the third one. Actually I had two problems yesterday which were peacefully solved today, and that’s what cheered me up. Day by day I’m getting used to the atmosphere, and I’m not counting the hours to leave as I did at the beginning.

However, seems there is A LOT to learn. I need to be very attentive, and acquire knowledge quickly, some kind of being a sponge to absorb every piece of information. That seems my current challenge. A hard one, but I guess I’ll be capable of doing it, though I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself. It’s only days that will unfold what will become of me.

I had two meetings today, the only role I did was listening, trying to get as much information as I can. But, this doesn’t mean that I understood everything. Of course, a lot was dropped in the middle. That has been always the case with me whenever I attend anything, a lecture, a session, presentation, a meeting, etc… I listen, I understand very few, but I catch up with things later.

My lack of understanding comes from not being able to formulate good questions to pin point the things I don’t understand. I call that the art of asking questions. Yes, it’s an art. How to say the question, when, how to convey the missing part, how to make it a good one, not a stupid one.

I’ve always wondered in lectures for example, why don’t I ask if I don’t understand?! The answer was very simple, I don’t know how to formulate a question to get the information and knowledge I need. That’s not good, especially in my career to be. My future career which I’m looking forward to is a business or system analyst, which means I should understand the user requirements very well, and know when and how to ask questions to get a clear image of their needs.

It’s a talent or an art that I need to acquire.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:27 PM, | 0 comments

A whole new world to be discovered!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
My second and third days are over.. I could say things are getting better each day. However, yesterday was better than today.

Today was really tiring, met a lot of people, and heard a lot from them. I need to understand how is everything going around. Things are very complex, and new for me. I don’t know how long should it take me to get involved in all the business processes and understand them well.

Real life is totally different from the image I had in mind. Things are not as strict as I thought it should be. User needs are endless. All people try to throw the responsibility on others. Things are not organized, etc…

I guess I did something today that my boss got upset from, but I didn’t mean it!

I’m the kind of a person who follows rules, I like to see them very clear. To know what should I do, and what shouldn’t I do. Even if I don’t like the rules. But seems this is not the case, things are vague, and I get confused.

Today, I was sitting with a consultant for the company, he was talking in the phone to a colleague of mine. He told him you should get cured of this illness called “Perfectionism”!

I was astonished to hear that! Instead of telling him that he should do the job as perfect as he could, he told him get cured of perfectionism!

He has his reasons, which I completely understand, it’s the endless requirements of users who don’t get satisfied by anything.

I want to prove myself, so that my boss writes a good report about me. But still, I don’t want to give up everything for the sake of work. I have a certain working hours which I don’t like working more than them, but I have to stay, not coz I have work, just to give that hint to my boss “Here I am staying after my working hours”. I don’t know should I do this or not. Plus, I’ve got many things to learn, should I be researching at home, or I shouldn’t think of any work related stuff outside work?!!

A new world that I’ll be discovering.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 8:46 PM, | 3 comments

My first day

Sunday, September 25, 2005
It was my first day at work. Things went fine. However, I still had that weird feeling. A feeling that I don’t know what is it. Feeling strange, out of place, it’s just weird. But, I’ve decided not to let these feelings control me anymore. I kept thinking of any positive thing, just to repel these thoughts.

I hope it’s just because I’m new in the place, and it’s kind hard for me to get used to a new place and new people that quickly, it takes months!

People are nice and helpful. All in all seems things will be going fine, or at least I’m hoping for that.

My eyes are closing, and my mind can’t think of anything to write..

Have a good night :)
posted by MoonLightShadow at 8:17 PM, | 2 comments

Some good news

Saturday, September 24, 2005
Haven’t written here for almost a week. Have been in that state of wanting a machine which takes thoughts as an input and outputs words. It’s that endless thinking of many overlapping things at the same time.

Although, it has been a nice week. Went for a horseback riding, an astronomy orientation, and had the intention to visit the new Virgin mega store in city stars, but that was substituted by going to the cinema to watch Monster in law.

Well, I’ve got some news to announce here. After having sleepless nights with endless thinking, I’ve made my decision. I dropped the academic career, at least for the time being, and I’ve chosen to work on the practical career.

Tomorrow God willing, will be my first day at work :) I’ve got mixed feelings of happiness, and worry. However, I’ve got that feeling that this job suits me very well, as if it was tailored according to my needs.

Wish me to fit there well, and be up to the expectations of people there.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:43 PM, | 4 comments

Is there still hope?!

Sunday, September 18, 2005
Yesterday I was reading Mohamed’s post, and the thing that I had in mind, this country still has good people, there is still hope. Plus, I’ve always believed that it’s people who make a place, and it’s not the other way round. I’ve always had that sense of belonging to Egypt, with no reason. Couple of posts that I read on Mohamed’s blog somehow gave me reasons for that feeling of belonging.

That was the final thought I had before sleeping, and that was the thing I kept on thinking about till I fell asleep.

Today, I went to drop my brother at his college. It’s first day for him, and being a caring sister I thought I’d drive him there since I’ve got nothing to do. After dropping him there, I thought I’d go to my college to have something done there. While driving, I had to pass through the Abbassia square.

That Abbassia square is full of buses, minibuses and microbuses with drivers who know nothing about driving. I happened to be located between a bus and a minibus waiting for the traffic light. We were in a position that I must go first before any of the buses, else they will crash into the car. That seemed to me very obvious. But seems it’s not the same methodology of thinking that this bus driver thought with. As soon as we were allowed to move, I found that bus crashing into the car. I kept honking the horn may be this will pay his attention to what is going on, but seems he had ear plugs or something of the sort.

I was extremely shocked at what happened. I just couldn’t believe it. After we passed that traffic light, we stopped again coz it was very crowded. Deep inside I was boiling from what that driver did to the car. I stopped the car, went down to check what damage did he cause. It was damaged, yet it’s not that big one, but still it got on my nerves. At that moment I reached the peak of being nervous and went on shouting and yelling at the bus driver. I didn’t know why was I doing this, I didn’t want money, nor did I wanted him to repair it, but I just felt I’ll burst if I didn’t shout at him.

Well, people who know me won’t imagine I can go on shouting in the street. But this happens when I’m really irritated, and I feel that someone is taking my right. I never let go of my rights.

Well, I continued shouting, till a security guard came and asked what’s wrong, then asked the bus driver to come down. He was in complete denial for the thing, as if it wasn’t him who caused it. Later, two police officers joined, and they asked again for what happened, they kept telling me there is no damage in the bus, and so on. Come on, a bus beside a car, what damage would a car cause a bus?!!!

Anyways, we kept in that story for sometime, and people kept saying it’s a small thing, go do it 3and ay samkary!! Come on people, it’s not an idea of how huge the damage is. It’s about a concept, it’s about doing something wrong, it’s about not being punished for the wrong he did. The damage is there, no way I can return back things as they were. But seems I was talking a different language than the one they understand!

Finally, the police officer asked me what do I want, he asked “Do you want to make ma7dar” I said yes, I’ll do a ma7dar. But, people kept telling me you will take nothing, and I’ve witnessed that in a car accident before, and I knew a ma7dar has no meaning. So I just said all that I had inside, and left!!

On my way home, I really couldn’t believe it. The whole thing was strange. Starting from the crash till my shouting in the street. I felt pity for myself. I hate injustice. I hate people to take my right. I hate dishonesty. I hate it when you have to take your right bel dera3. At that moment, I hated the country, I hated the people, I hated the passive attitude that is common between Egyptians.

It’s not only about that incident that happened to me. I know it’s nothing to many other things that happen in our beloved country. It’s a culture of carelessness, recklessness, and stupidity. People know they won’t be punished for whatever they do, so, they don’t care.

It was only then, when I felt no way this country would change. I used to blame people who leave their country and live somewhere else, but now, I’m sure they are right. No hope in this country.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:23 AM, | 5 comments

Back to school

Friday, September 16, 2005

Tomorrow is the official return back to schools and universities. It’s the start of a new academic year. However, this year, is my first non return back to school :( I’m really sad.

Couple of days ago, I saw people buying the school stuff, new school bags, school shoes, stationary stuff, the school uniform. I love buying these things, especially notebooks, pens, and pencil cases. But this year, no more buying this new school things.

I tried to go back in time and remember how I used to feel. Happy was always my feeling. Though, this feeling vanishes as soon as I go there, but still that change of mood and structure of how my day goes was good.

At the beginning of each academic year, I’ve always had some resolutions and plans for making it a better year than the one before. Especially when I went to college. I used to tell myself, I’ll write the lectures, and I’ll concentrate on what is said, and I’ll study my lessons day by day. Well, it never happened. Always dreamt of doing this one day. But, I’m not that kind. I either listen to what is said, or write, I can’t do both together. And I like to listen more than to write. Despite the fact that I always get stuck at the end, but it’s how it always worked for me.

Never thought I’ll be missing these days!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:29 PM, | 3 comments

The first condition of progress

Wednesday, September 14, 2005
"All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships. "

-George Bernard Shaw
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:14 PM, | 0 comments

Why do I blog?!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005
When first I started that blog, I had no idea what am I gonna be doing with it. Even the idea of blogging was vague for me. I only heard about it from a couple of friends. And I thought why not have my own blog as well.

Things developed a little bit, my blog became something important in my life. Actually it’s the whole blogging thing, whether, reading other blogs, commenting or writing on mine. Day after the other, blogging started consuming most of my time. Though I never had an idea why am I blogging.

It was recently when I discovered that inner urge for me to write on my blog.

Have you ever had that exciting thing that happens to you in work, street, with family, friends, etc.. It might be a very good experience or a bad one. It might be a good news or a bad one. It might be something you came across, you heard, new people you met. A T.V show you watched, or a radio show you listened to. A movie, or a song. A good book, a nice quote, some words written here or there.

Whenever any of these things happens don’t you feel the need to share it with someone. Whether with close friends or not, but it’s the need to share your life, or things you go through.

I’m that kind of a person. I got affected easily by any little thing that I come across, and I like sharing it with close people to me, on one condition, they should appreciate it and, even if it’s a trivial thought.

I guess that’s the main reason for me to blog. The need to share my thoughts, to talk, to express myself. Without feeling that I’m putting a load on someone, and without expecting a lot from my busy friends.

I love it when I go on writing what happened during my day, whether good or bad. A friend of mine named a blog a good name, she said your blog is your best friend. I guess it’s very true!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:41 PM, | 1 comments

A concert by Omar Khayrat

Monday, September 12, 2005
Attended a concert for Omar Khayrat at the cultural wheel tonight. Can’t describe how wonderful it was. I didn’t expect it to be that nice, or you could say I didn’t expect me to enjoy it to that level, or to feel the music. Everything was really great. I liked the Nahr hall, there is something about it that attracted me.

That would be from the very few times that I go buy a ticket to attend a concert. Most of the time, I’m either invited, or it comes by coincidence that I’m in a place where a concert is being held.

I liked the whole atmosphere. Diverse types of people, young and old, with different backgrounds who happened to be their in that place. All came to enjoy listening to some good inspiring music.

I even enjoyed watching every single member of the band while they were playing. You could feel their passion for the music, how they are interacting with their instrument. Their facial expression was amazing, I enjoyed watching them.

A very unique combination of artists, each of them is a star on his own. Imagine when they are all together playing one piece of music. It wouldn’t have been such a good concert if it weren’t for every single one of them. They really reflected what a team is.

Two of the best instruments I enjoyed was the Nay and the Harb. Well, I enjoyed all of the instruments as a matter of fact. But the Nay specifically touched something inside me.

The funny thing was, me and my brother who was with me, had a similar thought at the same time. We both thought that it would be marvelous if such a concert is held in the mountains. Weird us :D

And still, the small strange world theory is being proved day after the other. After I came back home, I knew that a friend was there, and most probably we ran into each other without us knowing :)
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:14 AM, | 3 comments

For a change, what I see good in myself

Sunday, September 11, 2005
What I see good in myself, for a change as been asked by Mohamed.

Here is what I think, don’t know if this will add value to me doing a certain job or not, but I’m just trying to think positive of myself on the general scale.

I’m honest, I never cheat, I accept all points of views even if contradicting with mine. I listen, think then make a decision. I respect other people and I don’t jump into conclusions and assumptions as long as I don’t have enough information. I’d say that I’m a good observer and analyzer. I don’t accept low quality work, though sometimes it happens and I accept it. I’m good at planning and organizing. A hard worker, only if I like that work. Sometimes, I’m creative, it depends on the field, if it’s related to handcrafts and needle work, I guess I’m good in that.

I guess that’s more than enough.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 5:49 PM, | 3 comments

Still it doesn't tell who am I

Saw the link for these tests at Mohamed's, and I was curious to know what would they say about me.

How You Live Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...

But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.

Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.

In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.

You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.

And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory

You want to have your cake... and everyone else's.

Which isn't a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too!

You're too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship.

You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture.

From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

Your Brain's Pattern

Structured and organized, you have a knack for thinking clearly.

You are very logical - and you don't let your thoughts get polluted with emotions.

And while your thoughts are pretty serious, they're anything from boring.

It's minds like yours that have built the great cities of the world!

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.

You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.

Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.

People crave your praise and complements.

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

posted by MoonLightShadow at 4:49 PM, | 2 comments

Another busy day

Have been jumping from one place to the other like a bee. I barely can open my eyes now.

Went to college at 10 to finish my papers, finished at 1:30. Then, headed to the cultural wheel to check the Linux Install festival. Was planning to take my machine with me to have Linux installed, but I didn’t. I thought I’ll see it installed, and I’ll do it on my own at home. I reached there at about 2, and I had to go at 2:45. So, I didn’t see a complete installation, but I’m happy I went, at least I had a couple of questions that were answered. Plus, I saw a number of bloggers and faculty colleagues, whom only know their faces.

Left at 2:45, because I had a session at the AUC for an IT conference there. Seemed there was something strange at the Tahrir Square. I kept going in circles for almost 20 minuets.

I had a nice time at the session. Finished at 7. Then waited for a friend to finish a meeting, then we headed home together. On the way, we decided to go out have dinner with a third friend. We passed by her and went to eat. I was very hungry, I didn’t eat except some snacks from the morning and it was approaching 9.

Actually that was the best thing in the whole day. It has been ages since the three of us went out together just for the sake of going out together. Having that chitchatting together. I really miss that.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:32 AM, | 0 comments

How ironic!

Friday, September 09, 2005
It’s ironic that it’s you are the only one who doesn’t know the value of your own self!

In that interview I had that other day, the lady told me that the previous interviewers wrote a very good report about me. She kinda told me that they say I’m an excellent candidate!

I was really surprised to hear that from her! Or even know that the previous interviewers wrote that about me! I wondered, they are saying that and I’m not good with words, what if I was good with words!!

Yesterday, was my fifth interview for a certain company. The interviewer told me almost the same. Passing the previous four interviews signifies that I’m excellent!

OMG, am I that good and I don’t know?!! I really feel there is something wrong. What is it that they see in me that I don’t see?!!

Though I’m happy to hear that, but still this means that a lot of pressure is put on me to prove that I’m that good person they think I am! I don’t like to be given a value more than I am. Definitely there is something these people don’t see!

So, now, I’m having two offers. Each is a totally different career, and I’m really confused. I like both. If I am to make my decision on logical thinking only, then I’d chose one of them, but if my feelings are to interfere, then I’d choose the other. Totally lost!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:29 PM, | 8 comments

My day..

Thursday, September 08, 2005
My schedule for today was full. Yesterday (I’d rather say today) I slept at 5 a.m. which means that I couldn’t wake up before 11 a.m. I had and interview in about 1 hour distant place and I had to take the car to the service center coz I was having some problems with the car breaks. Called them, and they said come at 1 p.m. so that the spare part would be available. I had to be in the other side of town at 3:30 p.m. which means I should leave where I was at 2:30. I felt a little bit dizzy, wasn’t concentrating in anything. The day started by burning something with the iron, but it was ok.

I went to the service center at 12:45, I asked if they could finish the car before 2, but they said it will take about two hours. I stayed there till 2 and then left leaving the car there to get repaired.

I wanted to go to the police office to get my voting card and know where I should vote. But I was short in time. I called people I’m having an interview with to postpone it to tomorrow, but they said it’s not possible. I asked if I can come late at 4:30, he told me I could come at 4.

I had no time to check what transportations go there, so I took a taxi. I reached there about 3:20. I was asked to wait in the waiting room for a while. We were two guys and four girls. One of the girls was there form 1:30, others were having their interview at 3, and we all waited.

We kept waiting, and waiting... One of the ladies was that kind of a hyper active lady. She didn’t sit in one place. She kept moving from a place to the other, and signs of boredom appeared on her. Then she started to talk, she tried to open any kind of discussion with us. It started with politics, she asked if any of us went to vote or not, then that was followed by her analysis of each of Mubarak, Ayman Nour, and No3man Gom3a.

Actually, I don’t feel at ease with people who open a discussion out of the blues with people they see for the first time. Plus, she is the kind of people who thinks she is Miss know it all. And she was very talkative.

We waited for so long, to the extent that we talked about everything, politics, elections, the economical state, traveling, shopping, food, her family, her friends, our stories with the governmental employees, our faculties, careers. That’s what I remember, I guess we talked about more than that! We didn’t leave anything without talking about it.

You know that movie of been el sama w el ard (between the sky and the ground). It was talking about a group of people who were locked in an elevator for a very long time, and the whole movie was about the life of each one of them. Sitting in that waiting room was very similar. I feel that by the end of the day we became friends who know many things about each other! At the beginning I didn’t like it, but it went fine afterwards.

3:30 passed, then 4, 5, 6!

Finally, I had my interview at 7, then I had a second interview, and I got accepted :D whether I’ll be joining or not that’s another story, will be talking about it later.

Thank God, I finished at about 7:45. I had a meeting with some friends at 7:30, but I didn’t go, I was very tired, plus I wanted to go for the voting before it was 10.

Took a taxi to somewhere in the middle, then I took the air conditioned bus (aka CTA) to home. It has been sometime since I last took that bus. I used to enjoy it, but now, it became in a very bad state, it’s not anymore air-conditioned, and they even decreased it’s ticket.

Anyways, I still enjoyed my ride. The city wasn’t crowded as usual compared to other days. I felt it has been sometime since I’ve been to many streets. A feeling of happiness filled me for no reason. Looking from the window at people, cars, streets, and shops is really something that I like.

I went home, then went to the police office at 9 p.m. to know where my name is listed for voting. Inside the police office there was a crowd of people. Some of them were wearing that green shirt written on it “Yes Mubarak” ( I really wonder why would they write that in English?!!) Anyways, I pretended as if they are not there, coz they were really getting on my nerves. Went to ask about the place to vote. It was a little bit crowded. There were a guy and his wife who were asking about their place, and they were told it was in a school beside the place where they live. The guy got frustrated, he said “ I come to the police office and you tell me go somewhere else, I should vote here” He was that kind of a person who wants to have a fight for any reason. The only thing he was afraid of was the fine that he gotta pay if he didn’t vote, that was the only motivator for him!!

Well, finally, I knew where I was to vote. It was a school near my house. I entered there, didn’t know what exactly should I do. I found some people looking in a list of names. I stood beside one of them while she was going through the names, may be I’ll find my name. I did find it. Asked what should I do after that, and they told me know that number beside your name. Then I went to another lady, told her I want to vote, what should I do?! She looked in a list of names in front of her, then told me your name is not here, you are not to vote in that place! I told her what?! I saw my name in that hanged list. She told me then go bring the number, I told her I know the number. I gave her the number, then she looked in another list, where she found my name (hwa lazem el wa7ed y2awe7 m3ahom ya3ny!!). Then she told me go to lagna 5/6. I went there, gave the guy sitting there my number, I signed there and he gave me the card for voting and I voted. After putting it in the box, I had that ink on my fingers!

That ink was really funny, coz they said it should remain for 24 hours. As soon as I went home, I washed my hands, and it wasn’t there anymore!

The moment I came out from the school, I felt a burden was removed of my chest. It was such a heavy burden, and I was afraid I won’t be able to catch up with them before 10 p.m. but I did.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:06 AM, | 6 comments

Winter Sonata

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Don’t know why am I in that mood, it’s that mood of.. umm, well, I don’t know what to label it.

I searched for the recorded episodes I have of Winter Sonata. It’s a Korean T.V. drama, actually it’s the best T.V series I’ve ever watched. Everything is almost perfect, the director, the actors, soundtracks, and of course the story.

I remember when it was showed on the Egyptian T.V., I almost did nothing except watching it. I wake up in the morning waiting for 11 p.m. to watch it. One of the important preparations was the handkerchiefs :D It really caused such a pain in the heart!

That series was a successful way to grab the attention of people here in Egypt to know something about Asian culture, music, history, and language. Personally I tried to start learning Korean. It was just a trial, it wasn’t easy, but if I gave it time, I’m sure I could do it.

My Memory, one of the soundtracks, is an amazing one, very nice music!

The following is an extract of a
review about Winter Sonata;

Upon a closer scrutiny, this Korean TV drama series offers more than a complex
love story, intriguing plot twists, good acting, memorable scenes and lines, not to mention, breathtaking winter scenery backed up by melancholic music tunes. The series presented a mastery of cinematic techniques tugging at one's heartstrings, like the sound and visual effects of a big screen effectively capturing one's imagination. Moreover, it addressed the perennial theme of love in all its complexity in our ever-changing society.

Unlike most tragedies with a sad ending, Winter Sonata reached a bittersweet conclusion even though everyone who had intimate connection with the two main characters paid the heavy price of emotional and mental agony.

The story opened with Joon Sang and Yu Jin, as two high school students who fell in love for the first time. Unfortunately, their ill-fated love suffered a cruel blow as our hero Joon died in a car accident, leaving our heroine heart-broken and dispirited. Ten years later, Yu Jin found herself working on a ski resort project with Min Yeong who looked exactly like

Joon Sang. Oddly enough, he was courting Yu Jin's high school rival, Chae Lin. Consequently, Yu Jin's uncontrollable attraction to Min Yeong jeopardized her engagement to her childhood admirer, Sang Hyuk, who in conspiracy with Chae Lin, tried everything to separate the two destined lovers. When the truth came out that Min Yeong and Joon Sang were the same person and worse still, the suspicion that Joon Sang and Yu Jin were half-brother and sister, everyone involved was thrown into utter confusion, resulting in grief and detrimental pain.

Yun Seok Ho demonstrated his supremacy in making melodramas using symbolism, parallelism, repetition, and timing, as provocative ways to stir emotions and draw tears from the audience. The main symbols in Winter Sonata -- the star Polaris (representing Joon Sang), the missing puzzle piece (representing Yu Jin in Joon Sang's life), and the first snowfall of winter
(representing the meeting of the two lovers) -- appeared repetitively throughout the melodrama to hammer the point of their significance they contributed to the story. Furthermore, the excellent use of parallelism and repetition compounded the dramatic effects in scenes -- whenever Yu Jin and Sang Hyuk were fighting, Min Yeong and Chae Lin were also arguing; when Yu Jin and Min Yeong strolled through their high school, each taking a different path, unaware of one another's presence; and when Yu Jin tried to tail whom she thought was Joon Sang in the crowd and later Sang Hyuk attempted to follow whom he thought was Yu Jin in the streets.

Although the drama is basically a love story, it tackled many contemporary themes: 1) character duality -- Joon Sang personified the dark side and Ming Yeong, the bright side; 2) identity problems -- Joon Sang searched for the identity of his father and later Min Yeong questioned his own identity; 3) different reactions to the loss of love -- Yu Jin's sad disposition, Joon Sang's escapes to America, San Hyuk's suicide attempt, and Chae Lin's drinking binge; and 4) fate prevailed no matter what others did to prevent the destined lovers from getting together.

The main reason for Winter Sonata's popularity could be attributed to its bold exposition of the various aspects of love: 1) puppy love; 2) first love; 3) possessive love; 4) lost love; 5) parental love; and 6) true love. Everyone in the audience has experienced at least one or more of these different shades of love, where he or she could empathize with any of the characters at one time or another in this melodrama.

In high school, Choi Ji Woo and Bae Yong Jun in their roles convincingly demonstrated the beauty of innocence and sweetness of puppy love as they helped and defended each other. Then the puppy love blossomed into first love when their most impressionable memories consisted of things they did together for the first time. It was through this love that the gloom and anger in Joon Sang faded away when he was in the presence of Yu Jin.

The series also showed the negative impact of possessive love -- Sang Hyuk for Yu Jin and Chae Lin for Min Yeong -- in which Sang Hyuk and Chae Lin would do anything to keep their loved ones to themselves, including lying, scheming, and hurting others. When they finally lost their beloveds to the destined pair, they marched down a familiar path of self-destruction -- Sang Hyuk tried to commit suicide and Chae Lin slumped into a drinking stupor. However, mature love requires making sacrifices -- putting the beloved's happiness above everything else -- as seen in Sang Hyuk's release of Yu Jin to the revived Joon Sang, in Chae Lin's suggestion to Joon Sang to elope with Yu Jin despite everyone's disapproval of their marriage, in Joon Sang's decisions to place Yu Jin's well-being above all his needs, and in Yu Jin's respect for Joon Sang's resolution to bid their last farewell.

Even in modern times, family plays a dominant role in Asian culture. At the beginning, Joon Sang desperately sought parental love from a father he never knew, and later he could forgive his mother for all the wrongs she had done him. Suppressing her feelings, Yu Jin chose Sang Hyuk over Min Yeong to abide the wishes of Sang Hyuk's family and her own mother. As the drama unfolded, the meddling of three families -- Sang Hyuk's parents, Joon Sang's mother and Yu Jin's mother -- caused more harm than good with endless sorrow and tragic consequences to their offsprings.

Like all great love stories, true love as written in the stars exists in the one and
only couple made for one another. Obviously, Joon Sang and Yu Jin were destined to be together, for they both fell in love with each other, not once but twice and could love no one else.

In conclusion, Winter Sonata delivered a tearjerker with a moving tale and unforgettable characters. It brought a paragon mate for a modern woman to life, exemplified by Joon Sang -- handsome, sensitive, intelligent, and successful in life. More importantly, he was able to love a woman with complete gentleness and understanding, even at the risk of his own welfare and happiness. In addition, the drama series successfully revealed the manifestations of love in real life, to which everyone in the audience could relate.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:39 AM, | 5 comments

Just crossing the street!

Monday, September 05, 2005
Was walking today in the street, when I heard the sound of a car suddenly stopping, and someone shouting.

I turned around to check what happened. It was a foreign group of people who were crossing the street. They thought since they are crossing from the pedestrian lines, then this means cars will stop for them to cross. But they forgot a very important fact, they are in Egypt!

The guy was shouting to the lady in the car, pointing to the lines, trying to explain to her that it’s his right to cross the street from here, and the lady was metana7a!

The situation really looked funny, at the same time it just made me angry!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:20 AM, | 2 comments

Things are going well

When it gets good, it gets good from all sides. Abnormal change of mood. Things are going well. Met my busy friend, met new friends, and had a lovely outing tonight.

Things are accumulated on the same time, though I’ve been free for sometime. But it’s just when things come my way, it comes in groups :D

I love it that way. Being busy doing something, getting out of this going to that. Filling all my time by something to do.

Seems things will be going well, hopefully!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:03 AM, | 2 comments

Academic Vs. Practical Career

Sunday, September 04, 2005
I have to make a decision, either go for a practical career, or dig my way through the academic career.

For people who knows what they want, they won’t find it difficult to decide, but for a person like me, who comes up with a new opinion everyday, it’s not such an easy decision. Plus I’m a perceiving character, which means I can see the pros and cons of everything, which makes it hard to be decisive.

When I was at college, going for an academic career wasn’t one of my options at all. Currently it is! And the funny thing is, it’s not only one of my options, but it’s the option I’m feeling comfortable with. I’ve never felt a passion for a career opportunity as much as I’m feeling for that academic one.

When I tried to analyze that, I found out that the academic career really goes with what I want to do in this life (as far as I know). Seeing the productivity of my work is very important to me. I can’t feel that I’ve done something that worth, except when I see the good results. I need to feel that I’m affecting the life of someone in a positive way. Teaching someone something gives me that feeling of satisfaction, it would be the happiest moments in my life.

But the question is, am I capable of doing that?! Do I have the qualities of a good instructor?! Am I capable of delivering the information?! If I’m in the position, will I be able to fulfill the things I want?! Or I’ll be another dumb instructor?! And am I willing to go for post graduate studies?!

On the other hand, as for the practical career, it will make me get in touch with real life, and get the experience of how things really work, rather than having the theoretical knowledge. Plus, some talk from people around, that my career is a good one, and I shouldn’t be giving it up. But I don’t feel that it’s going with my goals, my mission statement for life.

I just see things from the outside, I don’t know really how each one of these careers are going. I might have a complete different image than what’s happening in real life.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:54 AM, | 0 comments

Looks young, shy, communication skills

Thursday, September 01, 2005
Was having an interview, the first thing the receptionist told me while I was sitting there, you look pretty young. Well, yeah, I do. Though 10 years ago, people used to think that I’m older than I am. Is looking young considered a good thing?! I wonder.

Through the interview, the interviewer hinted on two things, my communication skills, and being shy. He asked “you are shy, aren’t you?”. Yes, that’s the truth, I’m shy. He told me that I should be more daring than I am. I agree to that as well.

Three things that I should admit, I look younger than I am, my communication skills are not that good, and I’m shy.

I can’t do anything about looking young, can I?

What about my communication skills, and being shy?! Well, I believe this could be enhanced by time, experience, and being exposed to different situations. That’s theoretically true. What I’ve experienced myself that they are not by anyway enhanced even by exposing myself to certain situations.

Didn’t I say I don’t like that me I am!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 8:55 PM, | 7 comments

Write an essay

Today I had an English exam, I was asked to write an essay. I thought, well, that’s an easy thing to do. Writing is not hard as it used to be before.

I remember when I was in school, I used to hate something called write an essay, I used to have a problem transforming my thoughts into written words. Later, when I started writing my thoughts down, whether in my diary, forums, or my blog, I felt, I’m not that bad after all. I could write an average essay.

So, I took it easy, and was sure writing the essay wouldn’t be hard. It was about the generation gap, and time allowed was 30 minutes.

To start with, I don’t like time constraints, especially when it’s something that requires some thinking. I spent about 10 to 15 minutes trying to figure out what to write. Then wrote a draft, then the final essay. I just finished on time, may be one minute late.

On my way home, I kept thinking about it. I would have written a better one, only if I had time. It normally takes me hours to write my own thoughts down, plus sometime editing how would it be writing something I’m not that interested in!

Then I had another question, if blogging was a job, would I have enjoyed it?! Or I would have been pressured by time constraints, and I would have felt that I’m not up to the job?!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 7:43 PM, | 0 comments

Last Night

Went to bed at about 3 a.m., for a reason or the other I was very excited, felt I have extra energy for that timing of the day. Tried to sleep, but in vain. I had the feeling that I’m wasting my time by sleeping, and I’d rather do something else. Switched on the lights and thought of starting to read Jane Eyre which I bought sometime ago. I just went through a couple of pages, and felt the need to sleep.

I slept, and had a terrible nightmare. I don’t remember exactly what was it about, the only thing I can remember that someone died, and I waked up, cried, and went to sleep again. Weird!

Had a lot to do in the morning. I wrote my to do list, and started working on it. I didn’t fulfill much of what was written in it, but I feel good about myself.

Tomorrow is a full day as well. Wish things will go fine.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:09 AM, | 0 comments