Giving up
Wednesday, March 04, 2015
Dear Blog,
I'm doing everything I thought I'll never do! Things are happening in a way that I never wanted or imagined, and I'm just going with the flow.. I'm hating it, it made me cry, but I'm just going with it.. why is that?! literally not a single thing that I wished for is happening the way I wanted.. is it too much to ask for?! Deep down I'm confused in a panic state, afraid of everything, and not happy.. it is not supposed to feel this way, does it?! why am I doing it then?! why am I letting people control my life again?! am I afraid of them telling me "we told you so" what if it is me that will tell them "I hate to say I told you so?" why is it always that I'm not confident in my judgement? am I afraid of being wrong? definitely! and if I turned to be wrong they will all point fingers at me as say I was wrong.. all my life I've hated decisions.. as much as I could I ran away from them.. not a very smart way to live life.. but safer.. less dramatic.. I just wish for a peaceful happy life, something you can not get in this world!
I'm doing everything I thought I'll never do! Things are happening in a way that I never wanted or imagined, and I'm just going with the flow.. I'm hating it, it made me cry, but I'm just going with it.. why is that?! literally not a single thing that I wished for is happening the way I wanted.. is it too much to ask for?! Deep down I'm confused in a panic state, afraid of everything, and not happy.. it is not supposed to feel this way, does it?! why am I doing it then?! why am I letting people control my life again?! am I afraid of them telling me "we told you so" what if it is me that will tell them "I hate to say I told you so?" why is it always that I'm not confident in my judgement? am I afraid of being wrong? definitely! and if I turned to be wrong they will all point fingers at me as say I was wrong.. all my life I've hated decisions.. as much as I could I ran away from them.. not a very smart way to live life.. but safer.. less dramatic.. I just wish for a peaceful happy life, something you can not get in this world!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:33 PM, | 
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