MoonLightShadow - A baby figuring her way out

Not again! I'm done with crushes.. I've had the worst lessons ever.. I'm not ready for anymore.. I can't take it anymore.. those guys who are too friendly, please back off.. enough sending mixed signals.. enough confusing me.. I can't take it anymore.. why aren't you clear from the beginning?! or is it me who just imagine things?!
I'm developing this new feeling for this new person who is just invading my life.. and it is developing really good.. but I'm too tired.. too tired of this uncertainty, it is draining my energy.. but I can not stop thinking about how it is developing.. in a way even better than what I would wish for.. I've promised myself no more crushes.. but I simply can not stop it.. I've promised myself that I will not talk or write about it, but I couldn't keep my promise.. I felt like wanting to tell the whole world about it.. I'm happy, wanting to live the good moment, but I'm afraid of the next heart breaking moments.. it is harsh, I know, I've been there many times before.. but it is just dominating my mind.. so I thought may be by letting it out, I free some space in my head for other thoughts to come in.. I really wish deep from my heart for it to work this time.. but I'm too afraid.. my heart is convincing me that it is different this time.. but those past experiences keep haunting me, reminding me that miracles don't happen in our real world.. I really wonder how deep the pain will be this time!