Too late!

Wednesday, March 04, 2015
How would you feel if your father came to you and said "I'm sorry, I did a lot of mistakes in the past that affected you, and I decided to change"?!! I was like "WHAT?!!!!" don't you think it is tooo late?! definitely that wasn't what I told him.. but that was how I felt.. and this same idea that has always made me feel afraid of having children.. I am still discovering the truth about this life.. I'm still discovering myself, I'm not sure still up to this age what is right and what is wrong.. how on earth can I raise up a child?!! how would they feel if after 30 years I came to them and said "sorry, just shift delete all the previous and let's start again" can you imagine how difficult this is?! can you imagine that I'm requested to just think differently simply because now he is thinking that he was wrong! Too late, I'm already messed up, and no need to mess me more..

I must admit, part of me was relieved, because simply that's how I felt all the way, you are wrong, but out of respect, you just can't bluntly say it.. and out of my hands these wrong ideas where deeply rooted inside of me.. I felt that the past 30 years ran in front of my eyes, wondering how happy we would have been if he just realized this earlier! When I get into this deep cycle of regret I just remember one thing, this life is all about a beginning and an end.. 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:51 PM, |