MoonLightShadow - A baby figuring her way out

The worst week I’ve ever been through! The general atmosphere at work wasn’t that good, we were all pressured, having a huge workload.. and we can't do anything except staying late to finish.. and it’s not finished!

Finally that horrible week is over, or let me say, that horrible month is over. Finished work today at 10 p.m. Couple of hours before that I got an sms from a friend telling me that she and another friend will meet today at 7!

I got that sms, and I was jumping up and down.. we’ve been planning for that outing for about a year! And they are gonna do it on the day I’m having work till 10 p.m and I can’t leave!

Was very much depressed! Even my boss realized that, and he was worried that there was a problem at work. Well, it was part of my depression, but still I couldn’t imagine that work will deprive me of meeting my friends.

I called here, and explained the situation, but I made sure that they won’t leave before I come.

Finally, left at 10, and hurried to catch them up even for half an hour.. well, I stayed with them for about 2 hours.. and gotta say that these two hours made up for the whole week.. as if I wasn’t tired.. felt the depression is over.. was really happy!

They are my friends from the radio.. one of them I’ve met couple of times before, and the other was my first time to meet her.. but it felt as if we were a very long time friends and we were just remembering our memories together.. it was a real fun..

What else about that week?! Well, yesterday I was totally depressed, and my mum took me with her in an outing with her friends.. felt weird about it, but it was new nice experience.. knowing how my outings will be like 20 years later..

What else?! Umm, a friend called about a week ago inviting me to her wedding.. and I was like what?! Isn’t that a bit fast?! Couldn’t imagine that people take such decisions that easy.. Anyways, my major problem was the last couple of weeks I’ve been gaining a lot of weight! And the wedding is on the 11th of July.. this means I gotta do something about myself to find a dress that fits.. well, I couldn’t since I was feeling down.. and I can’t add to that by depriving myself from food, and didn’t have time to do any exercise.. I went shopping to check out what’s there for a dress.. and guess what.. I went to the shop.. found a nice dress.. I tired it and it was perfectly nice.. the second day, I asked a friend to come check it with me, she did, she told me it’s nice and I got it :D

That was nice.. I like that quick actions.. don’t like things that take a long time and a lot of effort.

I’m traveling tomorrow to the north coast for the weekend.. hoping I could relax and have some refreshment.. though I know it’s not the north coast that will do that, but anyways, I guess it will do till I manage having a hiking safari to the mountains.

The final good thing about ending this week.. well, yeah, the two weeks are over.. he will be back on Sunday morning :D I’m happy about it, though still he won’t be back with us.. but at least he will be at Cairo.. within reach..

I’m really sorry my dear blog readers.. I’m gonna be bothering you a lot with self pity posts about what I’m going through.. I know that might sound boring.. but I need to vent it out.

If I were to write about how I was feeling about work two weeks ago, the following would have been what I’d write:

“I’m feeling that work became one major part of my life, I enjoy being there.. I hate my weekends, and I don’t mind staying late at work.. don’t mind being loaded, I don’t mind anything, I just love being there. I go home, promising myself that I’ll be back the next morning..”

I couldn’t believe myself when I felt that way.. never thought I’ll be that much attached to my work.. it happened. As much as I like it, as much as it pressured me more. Before, I didn’t care if I’m doing well in my work or not.. I didn’t care much. I was like, they don’t like my work, they fire me, and make everyone happy. I wasn’t keen on my work. However, the case changed, I became more attached to work, not imagining that one day I could leave.

Felt too much attached to people I’m working with.. couldn’t imagine that they will no longer be my colleagues.. a feeling that is very painful.

All the time I’m having flashbacks of certain situations.. of the fun we used to have being all together.. it’s distracting me. Can’t concentrate at work.. and could do nothing about it.

Unfortunately, I’m back to counting the hours and days.. I’m back to not wanting to wake up early in the morning just to pass another day at work. It’s becoming boring when he is not around! Even the one thing I was wishing for my birthday will not be fulfilled. Wished he was going to be around.. but he will be traveling..

Am I being dramatic about it?! Over reacting?! I don’t know.. but I can’t keep it inside.. it’s too much than I can keep..