Busy!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Busy.. busy.. I’m really tired of that. For three months I haven't seen you except for once, and that one time wasn’t a normal one!

I try to understand and know that people might get busy, but to that extent, they can’t meet their friends!

It’s time when I need you more than ever. I wonder if we will have our intimate talks again. I know that’s normal, that’s life, nothing remains as is, but deep within my heart I really miss you.

I know I’m not supposed to get upset, it’s out of your hands, or that how it seems. But I’m sad.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:38 PM, | 3 comments

Othello.. a minute to learn.. a lifetime to master

No, no, I’m not talking about Shakespeare’s Othello. I’m talking about Othello one of the famous strategy board games, also known as Reversi. I started playing that game since I was 8 years old. I very well remember that first day I played it. It wasn’t that famous game in Egypt at these days. I’ve always seen my parents and their friends and relatives playing the game, was very interested to play it, but whenever I asked them to teach me the game, they used to tell me you are still young for it. Till that day that I insisted I should play it.

That was the start, I proved to be a good player, opposite to what they thought. Since then I became addicted to the game up till now.

That went through many stages. First, I just knew the basics of the game, which made me play, but without making me win or be professional in the game. I used to lose all the games. Later, I started winning sometimes. But my father was the only one whom I never won.

From my continues play with my father, I knew some of the strategies and the tactics to win, and things became more interesting. I somehow became equal to my father in playing.

At many times I didn’t find anyone to play with me. I used to play with myself. That was such a very good way to get more professional in it. Used to spend hours on playing. I don’t travel except when I take it with me. I’ve got the big board and another pocket one, really obsessed.

At my third year at college, that playing experience proved to be of good use. Me and a group of friends developed an Othello game as our Artificial Intelligence project, though I didn’t do much of the development. During that stage, I discovered that Othello is a well known board game, it has federations and championships, but it’s not as famous as chess here in Egypt.

Playing Othello might be the only thing I feel I’m really good at, a good player that I win all games I play.

Brief game history can be found here.
The game rules and tactics can be found here and here.
You can download the game from here.
And that’s an Othello blog.

Enjoy, and if interested feel free to ask any question about it.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:19 AM, | 4 comments

It was a fan!

Monday, August 29, 2005
It was kind of an interview to enter the school. I guess my parents where having a problem with that because I was below the age or something. The teacher asked me about the fan, she pointed to it and asked do you know what is that in English? I knew it was a fan. But I didn’t open my mouth with a single word. They kept trying with me, mum told me she will buy me a present if I said what it was, but my mouth wasn’t opened! And I didn’t enter that school.

Don’t know what reminded me of that!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 8:08 PM, | 2 comments

Moon in the kitchen :))

Yesterday, I wanted to eat roz b laban. I don’t like except that which my grandfather does, and that wasn’t available. Thought ok, I’ll do it myself. Called my grandfather, knew how it’s done. Prepared the ingredients, opened two cooking books to check validity of the steps. It took a very long time than supposed. But at the end it turned out to be a good tasty roz b laban :)

I really love it when I do something and it turns out to be good.

While standing in the kitchen, I remembered a funny incident from the project days.

We used to have meetings at my house. Once, a friend wanted to drink mint, and mum wasn’t there. I thought well, I’ll give it a try and do it myself. I started by looking for the mint. In the place I expected to find it, I found a jar containing green leaves, thought that’s the mint. Smelled it, but it didn’t smell like mint at all. I thought may be there is something wrong with my smelling.

After putting water on it, it still didn’t smell like mint at all. Rather, it smelled like grape leaves. I wondered why would mum do this to grape leaves and put it in that jar?!! May be someone fooled her and gave her that as mint!! Smelled it again, and it was way too far from mint, and it even looked weird.

I gave it to my friend, told her, I don’t know what that is, taste it and tell us. She backed my opinion, it tastes like grape leaves, another friend told me it looks like molo7’ya.. it was really funny. We laughed hysterically about it, and we kept guessing what would be that weird thing.

Finally, mum came. I asked her “mum, isn’t these leaves in the jar mint?” She replied, no it’s not. Why? What did you do with it? I told her the whole story, and finally I knew what was that.. it turned out to be green tea!!!!!!!!!!

LOL.. I’ll never forget that incident ever.

Moral of the story: Jars in the kitchen should be labeled :)
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:31 AM, | 10 comments

Tagged again

Saturday, August 27, 2005
Was tagged to answer these question by Blue

10 years ago:
In age I was still a little kid, but I was always rated 5 years older than I was. Had my first crush on a guy, it was really silly, and things ended in a horrible way :(
Was always looking forward for college days. Thought I’ll be able to do whatever I wanted, and thought I’ll be more free. Unfortunately, I was wrong! The more I grew, the less free I became.

5 years ago:
Was in high school. Dropped everything around for the sake of studying, how dumb I was to do so.. I lost a lot in this year. Had that innocent view of the world around, saw everything as good and nice. Was very optimistic for my future. Used to daydream a lot about what’s next.

1 year ago:
Started searching for something, I wonder if ever I’ll reach it. That was when the whole confusion started, and I wonder if ignorance is a bliss?! Was exposed to many diversities, and I learnt a lot through this year.
Was in my last year at college.

Tomorrow:
Wishing to make it better than yesterday, though I seem to be taking the same steps of yesterday.

5 snacks I enjoy:
Chips, Cinnamon, chocolate cake, Roz b laban, pizza.

5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs:
Air Supply, Abba, and some of Scorpions.

5 things I'd do with $100,000,000:
Buy myself a house with a big garden, buy a new car, establish the educational institution I’m dreaming of, if there is money left might have a Software house of my own, and travel all around the world.

5 locations I'd like to run away to:
Korea, Alp mountains, Germany, Switzerland, any of the far East islands.

5 bad habits I have:
procrastinating, lazy, hesitation, stubbornness, wasting my time in front of the computer.

5 things I like doing:
blogging, listening to radio(or at least I used to like that), needle work, buying flowers, reading.

5 thing I will never wear:
bikini, mini skirts

5 TV shows I like:
none

5 movies I like:
A Message in a bottle, Home alone, Baby’s day out, Armageddon, can’t think of any other, I don’t have a good memory of movie names.

5 people I'd like to meet:
lol.. that’s a secret, won’t tell you.

5 biggest joys at the moment:
Blogging, working on a puzzle, walking aimlessly with a friend, traveling, sitting home alone.

5 favorite toys:
My Barbie dolls and their stuff, I still have them up till now :)

I'm tagging:
Haal, Mohamed, Kayla, Nermeena, Rain (only if they would like to) and anyone who reads it and feels like answering.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:05 PM, | 9 comments

I need to talk..

Since the beginning of the week and nothing went the way I wanted. Starting from that job that I left, that horseback riding that I didn’t go to for a silly reason, to that concert I didn’t find tickets for, and finally wanting to go to Sharm, but I had no place in the car among my brother, father and his friends, plus I didn’t guarantee they will make me go to the concert there.

Am I upset for all that?! Not at all. Actually I kind of know the reason for all that messing up, something out of my hands.

Saw parts of the concert that was in Sharm on T.V, quite a large crowd. I think I wouldn’t have enjoyed it, though I needed something loud to break the routine.

I liked WAMA, may be the thing that I mostly like about them is being a group, a difficult thing these days.

Ragheb 3alama used to be one of my favorite singers, but I don’t have favorite singers anymore. Liked his band, felt kind of a good spirit between them.

I didn’t listen to my favorite radio show tonight. Actually it has been three weeks since I last listened to it on air. The first two weeks I was out of Cairo, couldn’t get a signal. But tonight the radio was right in front of me, but I didn’t switch it on. I kept looking to the clock, I know the show is on now, but something stopped me from opening the radio! That isn’t normal. My normal action when it’s midnight on Friday to go to my room, close the door, switch off the lights and enjoy listening to the radio. I never changed that through the years. What’s up?! Is it one of the ways I’m announcing my objection to everything around?!

For the first time I feel the need to talk to someone. This rarely happens. I usually talk to myself, write, talk with an online friend. But this time I feel the need to talk to someone face to face, someone I don’t know. I need to feel the interaction with other people.

May be that’s a result of  that too much that has been going in my head lately.. seems I’m seeking others help.. but I don’t accept the help of anyone.. I don’t like people I know to help me. Are they capable of helping me at the first place?!

I’ve always believed I’m the only one who is capable of helping herself. Others will do me nothing. So what is it?! Is it just for the sake of talking, or I’m seeking help?!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:05 AM, | 12 comments

Input.. Processing.. Output

Friday, August 26, 2005
Fulfilling a certain activity means going through the three steps.. collecting the input.. performing the processing, then getting the targeted output.

Apply that to any activity, for example cooking.. first you have the raw material (Input).. you follow certain steps of cooking (Processing), then you get the final meal (Output). Same happens with a computer activity, a user enters the input.. certain processing happens, then you get the output.. and so forth.

Same happens with us, human beings. Throughout our life, we take Input, do some processing, which results in an output. Am I not clear?

Well, let’s assume you are in a discussion about a certain thing, each of the discussing parties has got a different point of view, on what basis did they build these points of views?! I believe it’s on the Input they’ve been receiving throughout their lives up till that moment. There was an Input, they did some processing on it, which resulted in their opinion, the output.

So.. what’s the point here?! My point is, if the same individuals in the same discussion had different Inputs throughout their lives.. would they have had same opinions?!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 7:46 PM, | 0 comments

Things that make me happy

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I liked that post by Doshar.. made me think of these things that make me happy.. here they go..

-Buying flowers.. even if not for myself, but I like buying them, you can imagine how happy I feel when I’m given a flower.
-Hot chocolate, and a chocolate cake with ice cream.
-A phone call from a dear friend.
-Listening to any of my favorite songs.
-Listening to Radio Cairo.. especially Z-Tok and Late Night Cartoon show.
-Traveling to a new place.. I love traveling in all conditions.
-Attending any of the human development sessions.
-Joining a good discussion.
-Running into someone I know by coincidence.
-Working on a Ravensburger puzzle.. the best thing I’d like to do in my free time, and I like to receive puzzles as presents ;)
-Reading a good novel, or a book, but it shouldn’t be a boring one.
-Meeting new people is sometimes something I like.. it depends on my mood.
-Embroidery , needle work, cross stitching, and crochet. Any hand made work.

If I remember something else I’ll be adding it.

 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:00 PM, | 1 comments

A thin line separates both

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
A thin line separates both, confidence and arrogance, or may be that’s not true, and it’s people who sometimes mistake confidence for arrogance?!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:55 PM, | 16 comments

Some photos

Some photos from the hike, since I've been asked for that.







BTW, It wasn't me who took these photos.

 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:25 AM, | 5 comments

It’s 2003, not 2005!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Yesterday, I received an e-mail saying:

“Planet Mars will be brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will culminate on August 27 when Mars comes to within 35 millions miles of Earth.

Be sure to watch the sky on August 27 12:30 a.m. It will look like the Earth has two moons. The next time Mars will be that close is in 2287.”

Since I like astronomy and such stuff, was going blindly to copy paste it here to share it with people interested.

But I thought before I do that I should make sure it’s right, and to know something more about it. So I did a quick search on NASA.

To my surprise, it turned out that this incidence happened on year 2003 rather than 2005!!

I don’t know why this reminded me with that accident of the lady who died of an electrical shock at the North Coast in one of the parties there. That accident was a result of some careless workers who were lazy to cover some wires!! People complained about it, but they got no response, the only response they got was “nafad”!

Though there is no comparison between the two incidences , but the question that jumped to my mind, why don’t people go that extra mile and try to make things right?!

Sometimes it is very small things that we don’t pay attention to, but still, they might make a big difference.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:39 AM, | 5 comments

So.. what is it that I want?!

Monday, August 22, 2005
Yesterday I had a so called interview at the place I didn’t like, but I just wanted to know where will all these interviews lead me to. So, I went there, met the interviewer, he asked a couple of questions, then told me I’m accepted to work with them. The normal reaction was to be happy, but I wasn’t. I asked if I can tell him my reply the next day, but he refused, and told me if I’ll start, that will be immediately!!

I was really confused, whether to accept or reject the offer. I thought I won’t lose anything by trying, at least I’ll gain experience, and I accepted.

Don’t ask me what happened, coz I myself don’t know! I just felt that it’s not my place.. I can’t imagine myself going there everyday. I was counting the minutes for me to leave the place.

Finally I left, and the only thought I had, I won’t do that to myself the next day. I'd be really stupid if I did.

The moment I entered home.. I couldn’t stop myself from crying.. for what reason?! I don’t know!

I don’t know what was it that I didn’t like.. is it people, the kind of work, feeling that I won’t be capable of doing the work well, being lazy, passive, my low self esteem?!!!! All these might be reasons.. but are they the only ones?!

Today, I waked up, called the manager, and told him sorry I won't be joining you! Whether I'm right or wrong in what I did, I feel that I'm now more relaxed.

Sometime I feel I don’t want to work in that field of mine, and I want to do any other thing. Other times, I feel I love that kind of career, and I see myself completely fitting there. Other times, I feel I just need to sit home, do nothing, but I know I’ll be bored very soon, plus I need to do something, to add value to my community. I’ve always believed in that saying “en lam tazed shay2an 3ala el 7ayah takon anta za2odon 3alyha”.

I don’t want to be useless, but I’m too lazy and passive to do anything.. or may be I didn’t find that thing that triggered me to work on it happily, that satisfies me.. something that makes me feel I’m adding something with value.

I just don’t know.. I don’t know where am I leading myself to.. and I’m sure I’m gonna regret it afterwards.

 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 5:13 PM, | 7 comments

Where I enjoyed the sound of silence

Sunday, August 21, 2005
Was out of Cairo for sometime.. thought I’d make use of that vacation, and try to reconnect with myself.. did I manage doing that?! I don’t know.. I just had these endless thoughts, which ended with nothing!!

One of the main things I had the intention to do was writing about that hike I had.. but I don’t know why I wasn’t capable of doing that.. as much as I feel I need to write about every single thing, as much as I feel I’ll be missing a lot and I’ll be spoiling it instead of sharing the experience.

But will I surrender for that?! Umm.. I guess no, I should try, and I’ll lose nothing by giving it a try.

We were a group of 12, distributed on three cars. I was in the company of three interesting people. One of them was a good DJ throughout the whole way, he had a collection of very nice songs, and we had chit chats about different things. To be honest, I was just a listener, I barely shared in the talking.. something that I hate about myself!

We arrived at Katherine’s town at about 11 P.M. Had our dinner and went to sleep at about 2 A.M. Wished I didn’t sleep to enjoy looking at the sky filled with a large number of twinkling stars. But I was very tired, and we were going to wake up early the next morning.

Next morning, we waked up at about 7 A.M. had our breakfast, prepared our day sack, met our guide, Sayed, and we started the walk at about 9 A.M. We walked in a line one after the other.. the new hikers at the front just behind the guide, to follow his steps, and the experienced hikers at the end.

The first place we started with was an uphill called Abu Geefa.. it’s approximately about a 70 floor building. I must admit that was very tiring.. and what came to my mind was the whole three days will be like that!!

Actually I was wrong.. Abu Geefa is considered a tough uphill.. things afterwards were better.. we resumed our walk till we reached a place called Zwateen, where we had some rest and we had lunch. We had tuna, cheese, green salad, olives, 7alawa, 7omos, and te7eena. I don’t know what was wrong with me, but I wasn’t able to eat a lot, a tuna sandwich was more than enough for me.

Resuming our walk through Wady Gebal, we saw some plants and fruit trees. We saw 3awarwar, 7abak, Gysoon, almond trees, grapes, and apples. We reached a place called Farsh el Romman at about 6 P.M. That was our final destination for the first day. Camels carrying our bags reached the place nearly at the same time.

We started preparing our sleeping bags before it gets dark. Later, we had a nice dinner which was prepared by the Bedouins. It was followed by a nice chit chat through which we were falling asleep one after the other. Despite the fact that I was very exhausted.. but I didn’t feel like sleeping.. went into my sleeping bag, and kept watching the stars, the shooting stars, and the moon. It was a gorgeous sky!

Thanks to M’s alarm, we waked up next morning at 6 A.M. prepared our bags, had breakfast and started our second day. M. told us that the second day is gonna be a little bit tough than the first one. That was true.. but the scenery was a lot better.

The way from Farsh el Romman to el Galt el Azraq is more than amazing.. I can’t find words to describe how beautiful it was. El Galt is a place where melted ice accumulates and forms a pool.. Azraq in our normal Arabic means blue.. but when Bedouins named it el Galt el Azraq, they meant by Azraq black.. the water there is veryyyyy cold.. it’s depth is about 7 meters.. most of the group jumped into the water.. actually I didn’t have the courage to jump in this cold water.

We had some rest there.. had lunch and resumed our walk to Zwateen again.. and that was the toughest part for me.. a very tough uphill that we walked.. my muscles started aching and I almost lost my breath..

Finally I reached the top from where we were supposed to climb Abbas Basha Mountain the next highest mountain in Egypt after Saint Katherine.. but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to go with them.. so I waited down had some chit chatting with Sayed (our guide), and some hot tea, which was necessary since it was getting cold. They came down after sunset by about 20 mins.. then we resumed our way to Zwateen for about 30 minutes on the light of our torches.

We had dinner.. and had some discussions with Sayed and his cousins.. and as usual we felt asleep one after the other..

Next morning, thanks to the same alarm, we waked up at 6 A.M. we had a pre breakfast :) That was grapes and apples from trees all around us, they were very tasty. We collected our stuff.. had breakfast, some group photos, and we went down Abu Geefa heading to Katherine’s town.

Being a girl, we (me and other girls) were allowed to visit a Bedouin house and meet the ladies there. We went into Sayed’s house.. met his wife and two of his sisters and neighbors. It was a very nice one floor house.. well furnished, and it looked like one of the cities houses from inside. A normal kitchen with a cooker, a washing machine, a normal bedroom.

Later, we had lunch, and started our way back to Cairo. The moment we went out of Katherine’s town, we felt humidity in the air, and the hot weather.. getting closer to Cairo.. pollution welcomed us.. and we started missing the sound of silence, peace of mind, the beautiful mountains scenery, and the sparkling sky!

It was such an amazing experience.. with very unique people.. a major thing that I learnt out of the hike, it was PERSISTENCE. Plus two things that I learnt about myself, I have a lot of negative energy inside which I should get rid of, and replace it with positive energy instead. The second thing was I’m a very quiet person ( I knew that long time ago, but I thought I changed, but seems that I’m still myself!)

A final thing which is being proved day after the other, “The small world theory”. It was nice meeting you Sa7eb el Ashgar (you could check his post about the same trip), and Moushira. And of course the rest of the hikers who made it a unique trip.

P.S. excuse my wrong spelling in some of the names, and excuse my boring post.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 5:10 AM, | 5 comments

The mountains is such an amazing place

Saturday, August 13, 2005
Just came back from an amazing experience.

Reached home couple of hours ago, coming back from the hike.. every muscle in my body is aching, I hardly can do anything.

Didn’t I always say that it’s a small world!! I met two fellow bloggers there. I really like these nice coincidences.

Have loads of things to write about.. will try to organize things in my mind and then tell you about it.

The only thing to say now.. it was a nice trip with very nice and interesting people.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:59 PM, | 13 comments

Heading to the mountains

Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Heading to the mountains.. may be I’ll find her there.

Was very excited about that hike.. but things happened which might not make it as exciting as it ought to be.

Well, I don’t want to be pessimistic.. just wish me that things will turn out to be fine.. and I’ll be telling you about it all.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:58 AM, | 9 comments

The person I am

Monday, August 08, 2005

I have always wondered about the person I am. What was it that shaped my character, and my way of thinking. Some of the major factors are parents, school, family, environment, and culture. But still I feel there is something else. Something that we are born with. Doctors and nurses can figure out some traits of newly born babies, which means we are born with something inside us.

Triggered by Haal’s post about Islamic Schools and a comment made by Teresa on Shirazi’s post. Plus these endless thoughts I have about the person I am. I thought of putting my thoughts onto paper (rather say on my blog) :)

I’m a graduate of an Islamic School, who had my nursery school at the U.S. and I’m a member of a family who have two extremes. One side is very strict and religious (the way they see it). The other side is somehow open, and outgoing. If I’m to talk about my parents, each of them is the opposite of his family. My father is trying to be an open minded father, my mum is a strict mother.

Throughout my school and college years, I’ve always felt that I’ve got something different in my thoughts. I see the world from a different view, and I rarely come across someone who shares that view with me. But I’ve always felt that I’m the wrong side, and I should give up my thoughts to get along with other people around.

Was faced by another fact, I belong to two contradicting environments, and I’m neither one of them. Being with strict people I feel I’m out of place, same happens when I’m with the outgoing.

Being brought up in such a contradicting environment, greatly affected my character and my way of thinking. I’ve been always open to accept two contradicting opinions and get convinced by both of them. Which wasn’t always a good thing. It created many conflicts within.

If I’m to talk about my school, I remember that I felt out of place the first moment I entered there. That feeling remained till I graduated!

However, my school contributed in building my character. Trying to be fair enough, they had good and bad sides.

We had some different features at that school which didn’t exist in many other schools. Girls and boys were in separate classes, each had their break separately, even we were separated in the school bus. We had a break for praying, we had a Quraan class, which included other Islamic teachings. We used to say do3a2 el saba7 at the morning line, and do3a2 do7’ool el fasl and do3a2 el 7’orog. Plus, girls starting preparatory were forced to wear the veil. Even if they don’t wear it outside the school, you should wear it inside. And that was really silly, coz inside the school we are all girls, why would I wear the veil?!!

That issue of the veil was always a problem at the school. Parents complained about that to the ministry of education, and we had people from there come and check the school. The funny thing is, these people from the ministry forced all girls to take off the veil!! Even the veiled ones!!

That was an endless argument between girls in the school and religion teachers.

I’d say that the most important thing that my school lacks is to convince students with things, rather than force it on them. When you force someone to do something, you only arouse their stubbornness, and if they wanted to do something they will do it, no matter what restrictions you put on them.

I’m neither with, nor against Islamic Schools. I’m neutral. According to my experience there, the school tries to bring up students on abiding by the way the school administration thinks of Islam. Which might be right or wrong. And that’s the whole idea. Parents send their children to certain schools, coz they think they follow their methodology of thinking. Children are brought up according to what their parents and school think is right. Which isn’t always right!

Talking specifically about Islam, there are many directions, all believe in the same core, but differs in other minor things. Islamic Schools take care of the minor things and leave the core. A near example about different views of Islam is my own family. Both two parts are Muslims, but each see Islam in a different way, and that doesn’t mean that one of them is wrong, rather they might be both right.

Instead of forcing something on the students, I believe they should be encouraged to find the truth themselves. To observe and think. That way, they will never give up their beliefs. They will be acting according to them rather than have only the appearance without an inside.

Unfortunately, it’s a whole culture of feeding children with information, rather than letting them learn it themselves.

I still can’t deny that I owe my school a lot, I still was raised on good manners. And when it comes to the academic aspect, my school is one of the top schools. But unfortunately, it’s deteriorating.

Actually I believe in that comment said by Teresa, saying “There is a saying in America that says that everything you ever need to know you learned in kindergarten--which is the first year of school for us. You learn how to be nice, wait in line, ask for things, share, work with others, etc...”

For that reason, I believe the way I am wasn’t that much affected by my school, coz my character was already shaped early before that.

lol.. my post went in a totally different direction than that I was intending.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:37 PM, | 20 comments

Three things

Sunday, August 07, 2005

I've been asked by bluelue to answer that test.

Three names you go by:
Moon
MoonLight
Lamoon/Lamoona

Three screen names you have had:
MoonLightShadow
Winnie the pooh
Daisy

Three parts of your heritage:
I don’t get that question.

Three things that scare you:
Responsibility
Commitment
All animals

Three of your everyday essentials:
Check blogs
Search the web for anything
Argue wih my father

Two truths and a lie:
I’m an over sensitive
I’m a high maintenance person
I’m an extrovert

Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
Don’t know

Three things you just can’t do:
Be my inner self
Break the walls I’ve built around myself
Dive in a place where I know there are sharks everywhere

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Hand crafts
Reading
Cooking (only when I’m in the mood for it, and someone will wash the dishes for me)

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Get dressed and go out, but the weather is very hot
Be someone else rather than the person I am
Go back to college days

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Any of the far east islands.
Soul (or any other Korean city)
Alp mountains

Three things you want to do before you die:
Have that educational insitution for children
Call the radio
Make a smart navigation system for cars

Three ways I am stereotypically a woman:
Nothing except being argumental.

Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
I cry over romantic movies.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:39 PM, | 4 comments

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Had a terrible interview yesterday. Everything about it provoked me. Starting from people who don’t respect time, they don’t respect the interviewee. Plus, silly questions, from silly people, in a silly atmosphere. The whole thing was a complete disaster. That was my second interview in that place, after a previous horrible one.

Why am I doing that to myself?! May be coz I don’t want to miss an opportunity, may be to know how will the interview go. The one thing I’m sure of, even if I got a job offer there, I definitely won’t accept it. If I did, there must be something wrong in my head.

Had another interview today in a different place. A very nice place, and nice people. The complete opposite of that one I had yesterday. Still I have to go through two more interviews.

Then came the time for something I was waiting for it for about a month and a half. Surprisingly, I wasn’t able to utter a single word. Had a lot inside to say. But words just don’t come out. About an hour of silence was too much for me. Yes, it was me who asked for that, but words just evaporated. Finally a conversation started, to be shocked to know that I’m the most selfish person who ever existed. To know that I’m hurting one of the nearest people to me isn’t easy. A horrible feeling that I had at that moment. Wanted to vanish from the whole world.

Thank God, things ended somehow in a friendly way, but I wonder if things will go back to normal or not. It’s only time that will decide.

After I was done with that meeting, I had another meeting with a group of very interesting people. More will be coming about that meeting later.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 4:16 AM, | 9 comments