I need to talk..

Saturday, August 27, 2005
Since the beginning of the week and nothing went the way I wanted. Starting from that job that I left, that horseback riding that I didn’t go to for a silly reason, to that concert I didn’t find tickets for, and finally wanting to go to Sharm, but I had no place in the car among my brother, father and his friends, plus I didn’t guarantee they will make me go to the concert there.

Am I upset for all that?! Not at all. Actually I kind of know the reason for all that messing up, something out of my hands.

Saw parts of the concert that was in Sharm on T.V, quite a large crowd. I think I wouldn’t have enjoyed it, though I needed something loud to break the routine.

I liked WAMA, may be the thing that I mostly like about them is being a group, a difficult thing these days.

Ragheb 3alama used to be one of my favorite singers, but I don’t have favorite singers anymore. Liked his band, felt kind of a good spirit between them.

I didn’t listen to my favorite radio show tonight. Actually it has been three weeks since I last listened to it on air. The first two weeks I was out of Cairo, couldn’t get a signal. But tonight the radio was right in front of me, but I didn’t switch it on. I kept looking to the clock, I know the show is on now, but something stopped me from opening the radio! That isn’t normal. My normal action when it’s midnight on Friday to go to my room, close the door, switch off the lights and enjoy listening to the radio. I never changed that through the years. What’s up?! Is it one of the ways I’m announcing my objection to everything around?!

For the first time I feel the need to talk to someone. This rarely happens. I usually talk to myself, write, talk with an online friend. But this time I feel the need to talk to someone face to face, someone I don’t know. I need to feel the interaction with other people.

May be that’s a result of  that too much that has been going in my head lately.. seems I’m seeking others help.. but I don’t accept the help of anyone.. I don’t like people I know to help me. Are they capable of helping me at the first place?!

I’ve always believed I’m the only one who is capable of helping herself. Others will do me nothing. So what is it?! Is it just for the sake of talking, or I’m seeking help?!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:05 AM, |

14 Comments:

why didn't you complete that phrase:
Actually I kind of know the reason for all that messing up, something out of my hands.

I think you should talk to someone, I used to have the same belief, noone but myself can help me. But it's not true, and sometimes you need a second opinion or a different point of view. Do it now or you'll never do it. And when you talk to someone and find some peace of mind accordingly, you'll keep on doing it from now on.
You can talk to your blog instead. It's just no one and everyone at the same time.
That's never a replacement....
Let us talk. Reach out. Reach out. It always help. Mind whom you are talking to.
Forget about this illusion of 'no one will help me' this is not the case here. you need to talk to someone, find a friend and talk to. Dont go like, 'i need to talk to you' but just go for a nice walk, whatever setting that will make u comfortable. you need human connection, go find it. dont choose to be lonely when u dont want to.
I agree with haal big time....and if you feel like talking to someone you don't know it is ok, go for it....and I am serious in offering help...may be I am not the best person ever, but I think I can help..I HAVE BEEN THERE....know exactly what u r talking about...please don't hesitate to e-mail me, then we can get to talk.
Nerro, thank you, I really appreciate it :)
  At 8/28/2005 04:07:00 AM Anonymous Someone said:
You have been calling my name so many times, I am here, Feel free to talk :)
So Moon, did you talk to someone! U know sometimes u dont need to talk but jsut to feel there is someone next to you, walking, exchanging jokes, exchanging silence,..... just some one! Dont shut urself out. Dont judge urself and dont expect that everyone is holding a whip just for you.

Life is cool.

ehm, sometimes we make it Suck
Not yet Haal!

Yes, it's us who make it sucks!
I know how you feel and I know the benefit of talking to annonymous.Hence, I suggest for you a center called Befrienders:It's open daily from 5:30-9:30 p.m.& it's a place where you can call and talk to well-trained volunteers who really listen to you and help you getting relieved.It's mainly through calling but if you wanna go for a face to face meeting.they welcome you and I assure you that your confedientiality is guaranteed.TRy it,I know when someone wantsto talk to totally strangers,it's so helpful and relieving.Their numbers are 7621602 - 7621603 - 7622381.If you found one busy try the other and if oneday nobody answered,call nextday as sometimes volunteers cant do shifts.hope you find it helpful in the times you need.
Raghood, thank you for the information, I guess I would consider trying it one day.
ur welcome,,enjoy ur life
OMG!!.. Befrienders still workin!!

I remember the first time I knew abt that service was more than 8 yrs ago... God!! those were the days..:D

I never tried it myself but knew a couple of friends who did it.. go 4 it Moon if u don't wanna meet with someone u already know