MoonLightShadow - A baby figuring her way out

At the beginning of each season, I go shopping, find nothing that fits nicely, and I think of having my new clothes tailored. I go for buying cloth, find nice stuff, however I hate the sellers.. and I hate bargaining... I get my stuff done.. and guess what, most of the time it disappoints me.. the output is never as I wished or imagined.. I take a decision of not doing this again.. no more tafseel.. the next season comes, and I never learn the lesson and repeat the same mistake over and over..

Finally, I learnt the lesson, and I stopped getting my stuff tailored.. however, when it comes to a soirée dress, I find it difficult to find a good fitting dress especially that I'm veiled.. so I go back again to tafseel..

Asked around for a good 7'ayata, and I was advised to go to certain one which is said to be very professional.. took an appointment, and went without getting the cloth, thought of taking her advice regarding the dress model and what type of cloth to buy.

I had no idea in mind for the model.. she started suggesting some stuff, didn't like it that much, but I agreed, because I learnt it the hard way.. not to ever suggest something that she is not convinced with.. that's because she might not know how to do it.. however, when she suggests something, then she knows that's nice and she will do it well..

She told me what type should I buy and gave me the measurements for each type of cloth.. started shopping for cloth.. I really hate that type of shopping.. first, because I don't feel free to watch whatever I want.. plus the sellers don't show you good stuff from the beginning, you should keep asking for a better thing, for a nicer design, and I still feel that I'm not seeing the best he has..

Being not very much convinced by the model, couldn't imagine how would the dress look like.. found a nice one, but thought it's not won't be nice with the model.. so I started searching for new models to suggest for her to do instead..

After selecting some.. went today to buy the cloth.. again, feeling I'm not seeing all the good stuff he has, so I had to be a little bit of a difficult customer.. kept pointing to different designs and looking to what other customers are getting..

Then he went and got me some stuff from inside (see, they are hiding stuff).. el mohem, I liked one of the stuff he got, but still wasn't able to make a decision.. he showed me another one which was nice as well.. w kont me7tara between both.. people started pointing to that one he got me from inside, and they kept saying it's very nice.. one of them decided to take from it.. and unfortunately, it was enough only for two dresses.. so, the moment I saw her taking from it.. unconsciously I decided to take it as well..

It's nice, but I hated how I acted.. I only decided to take it when I saw that lady taking from it as well, and feared it might be finished, since people liked it.. didn't like how I based my decision..

So I got cloth, with random measurements because I didn't decide on the model yet, and I'm not feeling good regarding the whole idea, since I know things never come out as I imagined!

I need to admit.. at least to myself.. up till this moment I'm even denying it to myself.. is it because I'm not sure.. or I'm afraid to admit.. or it's wondering about what's next even if I admitted it to myself..

Admitting it to myself means I will need to admit it to him as well.. do I really want to do this?! Am I sure of such feeling?! what if I was imagining all this?! what if it meant only a close friendship?! and it was me who was too dumb to get it in another way..

On another hand, at times I feel I'm too stupid not to understand.. actions and signs are at times seen that way, and other times seen in another way.. even myself.. at time I feel very sure of how I'm feeling, and other times I wonder how I might feel that way aslan!

It's consuming too much time of my thinking.. I even don't want to admit that I'm thinking about it.. I'm afraid, however, I need to rush to the experience.. is it just a matter of an experience, or I'm really sure of it?!

He is not helping me at all with this.. not even a clue.. or there might be too many clues, and I can't see..

Other people around started recommending him.. that's why I started to put a distance.. last thing I'll need that people would talk about this!

She knew about this trip by mere coincidence.. normally it was very strange to go for such a trip with people she doesn't know.. however, she was very much into it that she did all she can do to come.. She even managed to convince the organizer to change the dates for the trip to suit her schedule.. she convinced one of her friends to join.. her parents didn't mind, which is a little bit weird.. Finally she did it.. and she came for the trip.. she was fighting for her destiny I might say..

He wasn't coming to the trip.. though he never missed any.. at the last moment he decided to come.. he was with her at work.. but they never knew each other..

Guess what?! Yes, they are getting engaged soon :)

I just knew about it today.. as much as I was expecting it, as much as I'm really surprised..

Re-viewing the whole story.. I really feel amazed.. very small things.. and strong determination managed to get them together..

You never know what destiny might bring in your way..