I need to admit it..
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I need to admit.. at least to myself.. up till this moment I'm even denying it to myself.. is it because I'm not sure.. or I'm afraid to admit.. or it's wondering about what's next even if I admitted it to myself..
Admitting it to myself means I will need to admit it to him as well.. do I really want to do this?! Am I sure of such feeling?! what if I was imagining all this?! what if it meant only a close friendship?! and it was me who was too dumb to get it in another way..
On another hand, at times I feel I'm too stupid not to understand.. actions and signs are at times seen that way, and other times seen in another way.. even myself.. at time I feel very sure of how I'm feeling, and other times I wonder how I might feel that way aslan!
It's consuming too much time of my thinking.. I even don't want to admit that I'm thinking about it.. I'm afraid, however, I need to rush to the experience.. is it just a matter of an experience, or I'm really sure of it?!
He is not helping me at all with this.. not even a clue.. or there might be too many clues, and I can't see..
Other people around started recommending him.. that's why I started to put a distance.. last thing I'll need that people would talk about this!
Admitting it to myself means I will need to admit it to him as well.. do I really want to do this?! Am I sure of such feeling?! what if I was imagining all this?! what if it meant only a close friendship?! and it was me who was too dumb to get it in another way..
On another hand, at times I feel I'm too stupid not to understand.. actions and signs are at times seen that way, and other times seen in another way.. even myself.. at time I feel very sure of how I'm feeling, and other times I wonder how I might feel that way aslan!
It's consuming too much time of my thinking.. I even don't want to admit that I'm thinking about it.. I'm afraid, however, I need to rush to the experience.. is it just a matter of an experience, or I'm really sure of it?!
He is not helping me at all with this.. not even a clue.. or there might be too many clues, and I can't see..
Other people around started recommending him.. that's why I started to put a distance.. last thing I'll need that people would talk about this!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:01 AM, | 
2 Comments:
ma3rfsh ya Blue.. I guess it's easy said than done..
you'll never know until it really happen.
if you kept wondering and holding yourself back.. you will keep wondering with no real action to base your judgments about it in the future!
you;ll keep only wondering life long
be daring enough and try! don't be that afraid.