MoonLightShadow - A baby figuring her way out

The news came a shock for me.. after four years of having high hopes.. well, at times they were high hopes other times they were the lowest ever.. but I always had a faint hope that one day it will work! Even when I said I was over it, my subconscious always brought the thought of him to me.. Whenever I'm assessing a new crush, I just compare it to the attraction I had for him, and he always won, unfortunately.

I've always wanted to put an end to it, and just tell him all about it, but I was afraid to loose him as a friend.. so I decided to live with the may be, till I get the news of him being in a relationship. Yes, I always believed that was the only way to put an end to it.. and here it happened.. but I was shocked, and relieved at the same time.. finally, I can move on..

I need to thank him, wished I can thank him in person, but well, I can't guarantee I can do this without punching him in the face.. so, I'll just thank him here, may be one day I'll be able to show it to him.. I want to thank him for making me realize how dumb I was, I've been always waiting for a miracle to happen without even trying to work for it.. and that's a general thing in life.. he showed me that I need to; get off this loop I've been going in all my life, to start taking control of my life, to go ask for whatever I want, and to start a brand new page of my life..

I lost him.. but I'm sure this loss will bring me a new happy life..