Saturday, November 10, 2007
Am I different from whom I think I am?! How do people see me?! Is their perception of me the same as I have for myself?! If yes, do we – me and others – know the real me?!

Been always searching for myself.. my potentials.. my weakness.. trying hard to get a real knowledge of whoI am.. it's been always a difficult mission to accomplish..

I have different characters at the same time.. I'm a flexible person to an extent that's not healthy, I believe.. at times I feel that I have no reference point to refer to and check what should I do in such a situation.. I'm affected by the surrounding.. but is that true?! or do I have that very basic rules that I never give up on.. and I'm flexible with that non basic rules.. I don't kow..

I have many faces.. it's not because that I'm hiding things from others.. but I just find myself colored by the surrounding.. I see how do these people would want me to be and I just unwillingly get colored.. however, I always find it difficult to mingle with people I don't share a common interest with..

Should I keep searching for myself.. or should I just live the day.. be whoever I am at the moment and never think of who I'll be tomorrow..

I sometimes like a person very much to an extent that I find myself wanting to be a copy of him/her.. I wanted to be like a lot of other people, except myself!

"MoonLightShadow" is not only a nickname for me.. it resembles one of the many selves I have.. at times I think that may be that's the most true self.. may be because there is no surrounding effects.. but the thing is, I feel that "Moon" is different from the every day person I am at work and at home..

"Moon" is one of my secrets.. don't ask me why.. I don't know.. very few of the people who I know in real life know about her.. at times I just feel that I'm protecting that fragile part of me.. fearing that I might be hurt.. fearing that others won't like that real self of me.. or may be I'm keeping it a secret to be as much honest with myself as I can..

About a week ago I was debating with myself the idea of letting a colleague at work know about that little secret of mine.. I wanted to give him the link for my blog and ask him to read through.. at a certain moment I was gonna do it.. but I held myself back.. I feared something.. not sure what was it!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:40 PM, |


well well well.. that's what i've sometimes wondered about too.. But you know what? I don't think what others think of us counts.. That's what I think.. If we're RIGHT, then who cares?