Enough is Enough

Tuesday, July 04, 2006
You know that feeling of being depressed, tensioned, pressured, angry, sad, choked .. all the negative thoughts that you could ever think of.. I had them all..

Now I’m somehow better than I first entered home.. I was fuming.. and all in tears!

I know nothing deserves, but I just can’t be that cool person. I take everything on my nerves.. and this only leads me to be on the top of having a nervous breakdown!

I’ve never hated myself as I do now.. I just can’t stand me more than that.

So what happened for all that?! It's work!

No proper planning, miscommunication between the managers and their subordinates.. lack of proper business processes.. being under resourced.. etc..

Add to that, not being able to take your own decisions coz you have a boss who is supposed to set your priorities.. whether you see these priorities logical or not.. I feel I’m being over controlled, and I don’t like it.. I’m not the kind of a person who like saying everything I’m doing.. I just act from my mind!

It’s my manager who should support me.. but he is only being passive.. can’t fine someone to face all that with me..

I really don’t know what to do.. I feel like disappearing..
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:08 PM, |

6 Comments:

Salaam,
Moon, please be careful. I have a friend who went through a similar situation, it carried on for quite some time and she ended up very ill.

Maybe getting another job would be better, as no job is worth hating yourself over.
Mooni
you shouldn't hate yourself for the job you have...easy on yourself...put your opinion in a way that won't offend the manager...if he/she didn't listen put it in writing....but don't let the work issues affect you that way..it is not worth it sweety...we work to live...we don't live to work.
True Moon, despite what we might think at times, our life means more than our work and there is no gain in wasting your nerves and self appreciation on it! Take it easy, try to express your needs and things that made you feel bad, and if this place is really not improving, maybe it's time to move on.
My Dear Moon:)))
U've summed up all my problems here at work. An over controlling Manager that even interfers in your work, miscommunication that I pay it expenses, bad planning or u may say no planning at all.

I was thinking that going to another place may solve the problem, but it appears not. It appears that they are all the same :((

Anyways, do as I began to do, be cool do whatever they ask, and leave them to feca the consequences themselves as long as u warned them.
It happened that I carry the consequences with him, but I feel him wants to say u were right but his pride prevents him, but I feel it and that satisfies me.

But I know that pushing person are very hard to deal with (megaraba), but good helps us. and don't forget that it's an experience itself dealing with such characters:)
Safiya, Nerro, and Alina, I guess it's not about the place I'm working at only.. that's the case at many other work places as I hear from my friends..
If I took the decision of leaving, this will not be to move to another work place.. still, I will not sit doing nothing.. I need something more flexible.. I need to feel that I'm enjoying what I'm doing.. and I'm afraid I won't find that anywhere..
I sometimes ever don't know what do I want.. I hate being pressured, especially that I take everything on my nerves, and I feel responsible for everything going wrong.. can't deattach myself from that feeling and be cool!
However, I'm doing my best, will try deliver the message that I have to my boss, hoping for a better change..

Turtle,
Didn't I tell you that's the case everywhere.. that's what's disappoints me, knowing that even if I left where I am, I won't find that perfect place I'm looking for..

I guess it's experience that will make me understand how things are going, and that I'm not responsible for every single thing that goes wrong..

I'm really thankful for your supportive comments :) I guess thinking out lound helps a lot :))
Moon, I feel like disappearing as well...
itslike everything is going on worst to worst to worst..
i am now on the edge of my 2nd break down coz of single one person.....

anyways.. i wana tell u, i am "Bluelue" but in disguse.. hushshshsh