Memories
Saturday, February 18, 2006
In a glimpse of a second I remembered everything about my childhood, my school, my teachers, my friends, and my parents at that time. It felt as if that was a very long time ago.
Can’t imagine I’m over all these stages. Graduated from school, graduated from university, and currently working. There is something that I can’t comprehend. Sometimes while I’m sitting at work, I keep talking to myself, what am I doing here, how did I manage to be here, am I that good person that they think, where are my dreams, is it the end of the road, or it’s the start, am I happy, is it what I want?! Endless, countless questions that strikes me at a certain moment.
When I think I hate myself, I have to know why, and when I ask myself why, I realize I have a lot to change. When I think of what to change, I find a lot. When I think how did I become the person I am, I look back to how I used to be, and how I thought I will be.
To my surprise, I changed, but not much. I’m the same me. Same characteristics which I thought I only have cause I was a little kid. It turned out that it’s me, whether I’m a kid, or a grown up.
I wished I was a different kid. I wish I was a naughty student. I wish I was a more extrovert person. I wish I did what I wanted to do. I wish I had broken the rules. I wish I went off the line. I wish I wasn’t me.
I know it’s no use crying over spilt milk, nor looking back and saying I wish. I should look ahead and say I will. But a strong bond between the past and the future that can’t be broken. Each is pulling, and I wonder which will win? The past will drag me back to it or the future will pull me out of these memories.
Can’t imagine I’m over all these stages. Graduated from school, graduated from university, and currently working. There is something that I can’t comprehend. Sometimes while I’m sitting at work, I keep talking to myself, what am I doing here, how did I manage to be here, am I that good person that they think, where are my dreams, is it the end of the road, or it’s the start, am I happy, is it what I want?! Endless, countless questions that strikes me at a certain moment.
When I think I hate myself, I have to know why, and when I ask myself why, I realize I have a lot to change. When I think of what to change, I find a lot. When I think how did I become the person I am, I look back to how I used to be, and how I thought I will be.
To my surprise, I changed, but not much. I’m the same me. Same characteristics which I thought I only have cause I was a little kid. It turned out that it’s me, whether I’m a kid, or a grown up.
I wished I was a different kid. I wish I was a naughty student. I wish I was a more extrovert person. I wish I did what I wanted to do. I wish I had broken the rules. I wish I went off the line. I wish I wasn’t me.
I know it’s no use crying over spilt milk, nor looking back and saying I wish. I should look ahead and say I will. But a strong bond between the past and the future that can’t be broken. Each is pulling, and I wonder which will win? The past will drag me back to it or the future will pull me out of these memories.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:40 PM, | 
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