MoonLightShadow - A baby figuring her way out

Up till today morning I didn’t have any kind of feelings that Ramadan is tomorrow. There is something different than every year. I don’t know exactly what is it.

But the moment they announced that Ramadan is tomorrow, and hearing the Ramadan songs, I started to have that Ramadan feeling bit by bit. Ask me to describe the feeling, I can’t! It’s just a feeling.

However, there is still something different with this Ramadan. I don’t have plans, I don’t have things I want to accomplish, I don’t have any extra things to do in Ramadan! I remember the past years I used to have a list of things that I’d like to do, whether increasing the rate of something I do, or having new stuff to do. As usual, I rarely accomplish anything from my plans, but I’ve always wanted to.

It was only last year that I really felt a difference, a change, something I accomplish, and I was really happy doing it. I insisted to go pray el tarawee7 in a nearby mosque. Despite the fact that it wasn’t my first time to go pray el tarawee7, I used to do this since I was in 5th primary or something. But that last year was a special one. I don’t know why. May be because I went there on my own, without being asked to go by someone. May be because I still was on my own with no one coming with me. May be because I felt it’s coming from my inner self, and inner call that urged me to go everyday and not to be stopped by my laziness, my exams or whatever that I had at that time. I even remember that I wondered why don’t we have tarawee7 prayers all over the year! Something that I wished it didn’t stop.

But it’s not the case this year! A lot inside me changed through this year. I wonder if it’s to the better or worse, but I’m sure it’s not the same!

Today I felt like walking.. felt like enjoying Ramadan’s spirit in the street, enjoy that cool breeze.. went and had a small walk, but it was really nice.. and yes, it gave me the feeling of Ramadan, don’t ask me how.. I just felt it.

I wonder why is it the case that the older we get, the less events have a meaning. I mean, when I was in primary or so, we used to buy the fanoos and keep singing all the Ramadan songs the whole evening. Even at school, we used to have decorations and we used to make that paper fanoos. A certain feeling of happiness which isn’t there anymore!

A nice article that I came through about Ramadan in Egypt can be found here..