MoonLightShadow - A baby figuring her way out

Is it time to leave? It's been almost seven years.. next October they will be complete seven years.. They might appear as fraction of time for history.. However, it represents a good amount of my own life.. Since I went there I've been complaining.. I'm sure if I went back to old posts in 2005 and 2006 I'll find myself complaining.. I remember my first day, I remember my first six months.. and I remember each and every day.. Till a certain point, when I lost track! I lost track of everything.. of the days, time, myself, people.. but the days kept counting.. and suddenly, I was faced by the fact that it's been seven years!

By experience, I'm a person who usually complains.. rarely feeling happy.. because I'm looking for something which I never knew what was it.. so, for the past year or more I've been continuously complaining of my work and work place.. I thought a lot to simply leave and do whatever I feel like doing, which will be mainly having my own business in a craft related thing..

Being too afraid to take the risk.. I continued where I am, only adding meaningless hours and days to my life.. wishing I'd cut these daily 8 hours from my life.. and unfortunately, the country status wasn't encouraging for any private business or any job openings.. and the only logical reason was to stay where I am..

Days went by, and the stagnate water started to move.. having a very good opportunity of travelling abroad.. The idea at the beginning looked very tempting.. actually, I never thought I'd even think about it.. however, life is really complicated.. and it turned out that I have other aspects of life that I cared about subconsciously! It took me quite sometime to make up my mind about the idea.. then, I decided to progress and see how things work.. and then I kept waiting and waiting with no progress at all..

At the same time, I can no longer stand where I am.. so I've started searching.. and thank God, I started seeing some other opportunities here.. nothing that promising or tempting.. but I was looking for anything.. went to all interviews.. seeking anything!

Aaanndd.. Bingo! I got an opportunity.. but just a second, do I really want this? Is it a better option? Well, honestly, no it is not.. But as  Haal once mentioned, I need to move to the salt water.. it is about time, before I get suffocated.. But again.. am I seeking only the change? Why do I feel I can't move? Is it only about moving outside my comfort zone? Why would I do this to myself? What if I remained in my comfort zone? Yes, no experience.. but why do I need experience at the first place? At times I feel I can't take it anymore.. no more challenges are required in my life.. I'm really tired..