I sometimes hate myself!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008
ana ebtadeet ashook fe3lan fi nafsy.. ana akeed mesh ban2adma tabe3yya! I act weirdly! Very childish.. w ba2fesh 3ala 7agat hablaaaaaa gedan.. lanken a3mel eih fi my pride b2a.. sa3b gedan eny atnazal 3an mawkefy.. even if I realized I'm wrong.. or even if I realized en el mawdoo3 maystahlsh.. tab ana leih ba3mel keda.. da el so2al elly m7ayarny..

Akeed kol elly ana 3amlah da mesh 3ala makan.. da bel 3aks.. ana momken aslan el makan maykonsh 3agbny awy.. ana elly meday2ny el mawkef.. w 3'aleban di kanet el 2asha elly ana batlakek beiha.. bas tab3an ana aktar 7aga meday2any eny metanesha.. since el mawkef da w I'm not talking to her.. w bel tab3ya.. she isn't talking to me.. I'm not liking at all.. w ymken elly meday2ny delwa2ty eny nefsy nerga3 zayy el awel.. bas ana ba3ned ma3 nafsy.. mesh 3ayza a7es eny da3eefa.. w eny me7tagalha.. bas the truth is, ana fe3lan me7tagaha ganby.. momken tkoon heya di el moshkela.. eny awel ma7es eny mo3tameda 3ala 7ad b7'af.. I fear being hurt.. whenever people become dear to me, they can easily hurt me.. and when this happen I'm the most stubborn person ever!

It's not only about the place.. that incidence of F. w elly et2aket menha today kanet 7at7'aleeny awala3.. couldn't even stand hearing the person.. 2omt mesheet w sebtohom.. yes, I wanted to deliver a msg.. hope enaha tkoon weslet.. assuming that the person is smart, then he should understand where did he go wrong.. bas I'm starting to doubt that fact of being smart..

ana meday2a men nafsy awy.. meday2a eny kabart el mawdoo3.. w meday2a eny 2olt l kaza 7ad 3aleih.. I hate talking about people behind their back.. bas ana kont 7anfager 7'alas, and I couldn't deny that there was an issue.. mesta3eylla nafsy mooooot :'(

If only I could turn back time, and jsut be a more daring person and ask for whatever I want men el awel.. maknsh kol dah 7asal!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:10 PM, |


Dear moon :)

listen 7abibity..u need to think this rationally don't let ur anger blind u ... which is important..ur friend or the place? if u got the place and lost ur friend will u be happy?? mish el fekra kollaha that u stay beside each other?..who gets what isn't the issue ... and beside , u develop a kind of accustoming to the place u sit in no matter where it is... the only way out is to talk to ur friend in a ur-friendship-is-important-to-me tone and resolve this un-necessary tension...and hopefully u'll reach a compromise .

best wishes really ...keep us updated :)
You know ya Rain, if I'm to think the place or my friend akeed I'll choose my friend, however, elly meday2ny, that her choice wasn't the same! The issue is no longer about the place.. actually, I got a better place tha both places, bas still mesh merta7a.. and thinking seriously of going to that place I was gonna have from the begining.. bas that's not the problem any more.. feeling that she didn't even bother to talk about it and try to solve the issue makes me feel she doesn't care, and as a result I shouldn't care either.. el mawdoo3 da7'al m3aya fi door 3end.. w mesh kol ma a7awel ma3 nafsy eny ansa kol 7aga, and just deal normally, I can't!
bossi ya moony ...ana 7assa en she cares bas she's acting just like u !! waiting for u to take the first move ...fa keda it'll be a deadlock... try to remember good times u shared and deal on that basis till things calm down a bit , and then talk it all out.
if u have time check this out .
Send her an SMS now asking her if she is interested to take lunch with you :)