Lost among my thoughts
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Was doing my usual browsing through blogs, when I was stopped by that post. It triggered something, yes it triggered tears, but not only that. I’m more concerned by the thing that it triggered inside, the feeling.
It was as if it’s me who is writing. Though the situation didn’t happen to me, but similar ones happened. Not being capable of following every verse, and suddenly comes a verse that grabs your mind. A feeling of guilt has always accompanied me! Have always felt I’m the only one who is not following, and I usually give myself hard time for this!
Couple of years ago, I’d tribute this to el nafss el lawama! As much as I wasn’t happy with myself at this time, as much as I feel I used to be a lot better than I am!
Contradicting! Yes, I’m contradicting myself in everything! That contradiction is getting on my nerves, it’s confusing me. Sometimes I feel I like myself the way I am now. Other times I feel I was a better person couple of years ago.
Lost among my thoughts.
It was as if it’s me who is writing. Though the situation didn’t happen to me, but similar ones happened. Not being capable of following every verse, and suddenly comes a verse that grabs your mind. A feeling of guilt has always accompanied me! Have always felt I’m the only one who is not following, and I usually give myself hard time for this!
Couple of years ago, I’d tribute this to el nafss el lawama! As much as I wasn’t happy with myself at this time, as much as I feel I used to be a lot better than I am!
Contradicting! Yes, I’m contradicting myself in everything! That contradiction is getting on my nerves, it’s confusing me. Sometimes I feel I like myself the way I am now. Other times I feel I was a better person couple of years ago.
Lost among my thoughts.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:29 PM, | 
5 Comments:
It is a real mess, and I am kinda speechless, a lot to say in my mind though, but words can't come out.
Nerro, what is it in your mind that you want to say, any hints?
Am I doing fine, or was much better 3 or 4 yrs ago??
And what do you think of yourself, would you like to share it?
I never had this experience of your before. BUt i know that sometimes one sentence, one word, one thing just stops me completely and i ponder on it. I dont feel guilty about not concentrating or anything. i actually feel happy that i get the thing that triggers me. This is the important thing. Noone gets the whole thing.