Security holes
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Open up to people or not to?! Each time I ask myself that question, I have a different answer.
Sometime ago I used to think that the moment I open up to people, then I’ve created a security hole in my life by letting others get inside and know what is going there.
At the same time I was suffering being all alone in my thoughts, and I was in a very bad need for sharing these inner feelings with others. Just for the sake of talking or expressing myself. Suppressing all the feelings I had inside wasn’t healthy, it caused much pain than that pain caused by having a security hole in my life.
One more reason for me not to open up for people. It was a wrong idea I had about myself. I thought I’m not good at expressing myself. That was true, but I realized that everything needs training. It’s acquired by experience. The more I express myself, the more I’ll know how to express it.
Sometimes we tend to over protect ourselves, we fear being hurt, stepped at the back. Especially if what’s inside is so pure, soft and genuine. But by having that fear of being hurt, we are making ourselves no good. It’s by being exposed to experiences and being hurt once and twice that softness inside will get harder.
A balance in everything is good. It’s a matter of choosing who to open up to. A person can’t make that choice except by being exposed to different kinds of people through which he/she will know the good from the bad. Opening up to trusted people is good, letting it all out without having that feeling of fear. But still doing our best to protect the softness inside.
Sometime ago I used to think that the moment I open up to people, then I’ve created a security hole in my life by letting others get inside and know what is going there.
At the same time I was suffering being all alone in my thoughts, and I was in a very bad need for sharing these inner feelings with others. Just for the sake of talking or expressing myself. Suppressing all the feelings I had inside wasn’t healthy, it caused much pain than that pain caused by having a security hole in my life.
One more reason for me not to open up for people. It was a wrong idea I had about myself. I thought I’m not good at expressing myself. That was true, but I realized that everything needs training. It’s acquired by experience. The more I express myself, the more I’ll know how to express it.
Sometimes we tend to over protect ourselves, we fear being hurt, stepped at the back. Especially if what’s inside is so pure, soft and genuine. But by having that fear of being hurt, we are making ourselves no good. It’s by being exposed to experiences and being hurt once and twice that softness inside will get harder.
A balance in everything is good. It’s a matter of choosing who to open up to. A person can’t make that choice except by being exposed to different kinds of people through which he/she will know the good from the bad. Opening up to trusted people is good, letting it all out without having that feeling of fear. But still doing our best to protect the softness inside.
5 Comments:
Dear moonlight :
I think life is to be lived not to be “something” to make theories about , people practice their humanity through others so we can’t live alone , yes you might get hurt , you might stepped in the back , you might give love and just get “neglect” in response , but you know that will make the so pure, soft and genuine inside more pure, soft and genuine , it will make you a more beautiful “human” because the real Humans are so pure, soft and genuine. So just live, open-up even if you can’t express yourself perfectly, Mr. PERFECT does not exist , and even if you can’t express yourself , so what ? Some people might dislike you, TOZZZZ , some others sure will love you coz they will “FEEL” the so pure, soft and genuine inside and those will be the majority not those who can hurt or betray . Dear, just live to the maximum and then the theories will come from your life experience and not vice-versa .
I think life is to be lived not to be “something” to make theories about , people practice their humanity through others so we can’t live alone , yes you might get hurt , you might stepped in the back , you might give love and just get “neglect” in response , but you know that will make the so pure, soft and genuine inside more pure, soft and genuine , it will make you a more beautiful “human” because the real Humans are so pure, soft and genuine. So just live, open-up even if you can’t express yourself perfectly, Mr. PERFECT does not exist , and even if you can’t express yourself , so what ? Some people might dislike you, TOZZZZ , some others sure will love you coz they will “FEEL” the so pure, soft and genuine inside and those will be the majority not those who can hurt or betray . Dear, just live to the maximum and then the theories will come from your life experience and not vice-versa .
I like this post. Touching.
we are masters in disguise, a teacher of mine told me before. I mean, our mind is a real Master (not always good though) in making us fear and block ourselves in his image to keep us captured. I personally feel that talking, and putting who you are on paper (through writing) or through sharing and talking with friends can do miracles. The least thing it will do is make you see the exact dimension of what you consider huge problem.
Just dare to be different than who you think you are.
we are masters in disguise, a teacher of mine told me before. I mean, our mind is a real Master (not always good though) in making us fear and block ourselves in his image to keep us captured. I personally feel that talking, and putting who you are on paper (through writing) or through sharing and talking with friends can do miracles. The least thing it will do is make you see the exact dimension of what you consider huge problem.
Just dare to be different than who you think you are.
I agree with everything that was said. Quite right. I add on it a more direct hitting point. It's attachments and the lack of belief that causes us any kind of pain, and nothing more.
Unintentionally we ought to believe that this world we're living is the only world existing. It's what we see, feel, touch, and hear. But not everything we could experience. Like the spiritual masters of the past, you can choose to be of the world but not from it. You could be yourself and live life "to its maximum" as someone said it. Thereby guarantee to have your inner and outer freedom, and spiritual strenghth that frees you from people's criticism and condemnations.
Where power is truth is, my friend. If you believe your power is drawn by impressing others, you will always depend on others for power. If you draw power from within yourself, no one can take it from you.
Unintentionally we ought to believe that this world we're living is the only world existing. It's what we see, feel, touch, and hear. But not everything we could experience. Like the spiritual masters of the past, you can choose to be of the world but not from it. You could be yourself and live life "to its maximum" as someone said it. Thereby guarantee to have your inner and outer freedom, and spiritual strenghth that frees you from people's criticism and condemnations.
Where power is truth is, my friend. If you believe your power is drawn by impressing others, you will always depend on others for power. If you draw power from within yourself, no one can take it from you.
Anonymous, wa7ed men masr, Haal, Arto, I agree with all of you, but sometimes it is hard to implement words.
Arto, it's not a matter of impressing others, rather, it's a matter of how important people are to your life. The power is within, but still this never gurantees that you are not hurt by people.
Arto, it's not a matter of impressing others, rather, it's a matter of how important people are to your life. The power is within, but still this never gurantees that you are not hurt by people.
We tend to imagine and exaggerate about the possibilites while what we should do is to try rather than live in our imagination.
Experience is the real teacher ...why worrying about the future and prevent ourselves from enjoying the moment??