The formal me!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

We have some kind of a forum or e-group for my college on which we send our inquires and questions to anything related to our studies. Whoever knows the answer replies. Most of us tend to send anonymously on that group.

Once I was talking with my friends, and I told one of them, by the way, I recognize your writings on the group. She has some kind of a consistent beginning, and a why of saying things. Then another one told me, and I do recognize you as well. I asked “and how is that?!”. She said, u have a certain way of formal writing.

Well, I didn’t like that. I thought to be identified by having formal way of writing means it’s not a friendly way. I reviewed some of the things I posted there, and I found that yes, I go direct straight to the point. I don’t start with ice breakers, like, “how are you doing” or things of the sort.

Thinking about it for a while, I found out that it’s my usual way of dealing with people. I need something from them, I go direct and ask for it. No introductions, no hello, no hi. Though, when it comes to intimate people things are different.

I then discovered that many people don’t like that kind of formal communication. But why not?! Should I start with long introductions, exchange some flattery, and sweat talk at the beginning?! I don’t like that. I don’t like to receive this kind of talk as well.

Seems I gotta review many things about my dealings with people!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:21 PM, |


I guess it is just a matter of adapting your way of writing to the people you're talking to and to the place where the conversation takes place. I mean, if you exchange comments, emails and other chitchats, all of that introduction part might pay off by creating a friendly bond with the others. But I really wouldn't see the need for that on a study-related forum. The style you need for these conversations should be formal. You cannot always talk about important subjects on a friendly tone without giving it a shallow tone. Maybe the flattery exchanges and the sweet talk should be saved for closure (after the important matters are discussed). What do you think?
Umm.. I kinda agree with u kayla.

But still I'm not that kind of person who would exchange sweet talk all over the time. I feel that the over use of such nice talke makes it lose it's meaning.

I have no problem in exchanging that sweet talk when I feel like doing this, when I'm really expressing myself, not just pretending to be friendly.
  At 6/10/2005 04:42:00 AM Anonymous Anonymous said:
Mmm...being friendly doesn't mean to pretend or to use sweet talk.
I think it depends on the way u say what u wanna say, it doesn't have to be decorated ..and yes , just be urself ;).

Yeah.. it doesn't have to be decorated.. that's how I see it, and may be some others see it the same way. But u'll find some who think that it should be decorated.. anyways, a person can't please all people. Being oneself is the best thing to do, though u might lose some people on the way.
"a person can't please all people" - this sounded familiar! Let's see: "You can't be all things to all people". I actually found this in a marketing book but I think it applies to a lot of situations.
Indeed it applies to a lot of situations.
I have explored thus far and you have been linked with pleasure.
Thank you for exploring thus far :)

It's my pleasure as well :)