It feels nice to be appreciated!

Friday, April 28, 2006
Yesterday I was supposed to have a meeting for delivering the project I was working on. But we didn’t finish, so my manager said we will postpone it. I had my mind set according to this, and wasn’t prepared for any meetings.

Before the meeting with about 15 minutes, I found him reminding me that we have a meeting!!! OMG.. didn’t we say it was postponed. He said, “well, yeah, but couldn’t you show them anything, to know that we are working on it”. I said I’ll check and see if we could show them a quick demo. Checked with my partner in the project, and showed him how far I’ve reach and he said, that’s ok, we could show it to them.

Was totally afraid they won’t like it that way, especially that a lot of things weren’t finished. Thank God, my manager at the beginning of the meeting explained that this is still not the final version, and we are just showing them how far we’ve reached.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t satisfied with it, I found all of the attendees happy with what has been done.. no objecting comments, they said that everything is made very well. One of the main users was very happy with it, and kept on saying that’s perfect and that’s a good job.

Can’t tell you how I felt.. I was veryyy happy. A big difference between my state when entering the meeting, and my state after it. I was even more enthusiastic to do more, and complete the rest in a better way. It feels very nice to find that your effort is appreciated.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:14 PM, | 4 comments

The picture is darker than I see!!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I’m not happy.. yes that’s how I’m feeling..

The reasons are many, and variant. I have my personal non important reasons, and I have my non personal reasons, but the conclusion is I’m not happy..

It started by wasting a vacation of 5 days, just for not planning for it well. Umm, let me rephrase this, I had my plans, but for a certain reason which is, I was the only girl who was interested to join in, though my brother was going to be with me, but I was not allowed to go :(

Fine, thought I’ll manage and have fun some other way. But I ended by spending two days in Cairo, two days at the North Coast. That wasn’t the kind of vacation I wanted to spend. Needed more action, but it was all about sleeping and sitting doing nothing!

Yesterday, before leaving the North Coast, we knew about the bombings at Dahab, and that added to everything else, especially that my brother is in Sinai.

Waked up in the morning, having that urge that I won’t waste today as well, I should be doing anything to lift the mood up.

Started my day by going through the blogs, wanted to know what is being said about the Dahab bombings and the judges incident. Unfortunately, that spoilt the mood more. Felt suffocated. I’ve really had enough of all this. I guess we all had!

Sometimes I feel the picture is darker than I see!!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:29 PM, | 3 comments

More of my trials

Saturday, April 22, 2006


 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:45 AM, | 4 comments

Inner peace and Happiness


Simple things could give me that feeling of inner peace.. haven’t felt if for so long.. but two things in my life now are lifting the mood up..

They are my new plants and going to the gym..

Yesterday, I had the first blooming flower in my Orange Gerbera.. can’t describe how happy I was. I was jumping with joy.. got the camera and kept taking photos for them (just a note, I’m a dump person when it comes to photography) but I didn’t mind it, I just wanted to record it.

Yesterday evening, after finishing the aerobics.. felt something strange.. it was satisfaction mixed with happiness.. feeling that I’m doing something for myself.. something I like, and the output is only for me. It felt amazing.. can’t really express how it felt.. after I finished, walked slowly towards the gate, feeling the cool breeze.. watching the flowers all around.. it was just amazing.

Though, that inner peace vanished as soon as I realized that I’m spending the coming vacation without any plans.. wanted to go to a hiking trip, but for certain reasons I’m not going. Mum went to the North Cost, but I don’t want to go.. now, it is me and my father.. it seems boring.

Spent the whole day at home, the only good thing I did was reading in my photography book I bought couple of months ago, and had my dad explaining some stuff for me.. and went on practicing on my flowers :DD

I know the photos are not that good, but I like them as my first trials :D
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:31 AM, | 6 comments

A bloggers outing :)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006
So.. Nermeena and Nesrina were quicker than I am and they have already written about our outing (Nermeena, Nesrina, Rain and myself).. but still I have a lot to say..

It started by Nermeena asking about the Ceramic café, and I thought it would be a nice idea if we met there..

In the reply I got from Nermeena, she told me that she thought I’m not into bloggers meetings.. the fact is yes, I wasn’t into it, but I thought no problem in changing my mind, plus, I very much wanted to get to know Nermeena and Nesrina, so why deprive myself from something I want.

Nermeena rang me when she was there, and I was on the way. When I reached there, I found Rain, and I thought I’ll know Nermeena, since I’ve seen a picture for her before, but I didn’t recognize anyone as Nermeena.. So, I thought I’ll call her and know where she is.. was getting my mobile out and started to dial, when I found her calling.. I answered, and asked where she was.. she said something I didn’t hear, which I misheard for “I’m not still there”.. I asked “ you are not coming?”.. then she said the same thing again.. LOL.. guess what?! She was just standing behind me :D and she was hearing the echo of our conversation.. LOL..

Tell you the truth, that was a good ice breaker :D since I sometimes don’t know how to handle first time meetings.. but it didn’t feel like a first time at all.

Shortly after that, Nesrina joined us. We talked, and talked.. about different things.. I enjoyed talking, and I enjoyed listening. They were very warm and friendly.. Nermeena is like her blog.. active, and she enjoys the day by having a lot to do.. she likes to make the best out of her day, and that explains why she wakes up early. On the contrary is Nesrina, she enjoys resting.. that’s what gives her the pleasure, and makes her happy. Though they are different, however, you can very quickly feel the connection between them :)

Wished that we painted something, but we all were very tired to think about it.. looking forward for next time :)

Girls, I really had a very good time, and it was a pleasure meeting you..

Thank You :)

 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:57 PM, | 6 comments

Connected & Distant!

Saturday, April 15, 2006
I feel the connection, however I'm aware of the distance!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:40 AM, | 5 comments

My body is aching

Friday, April 14, 2006
Ah ya regly.. ah ya r2abty.. ah ya dahry.. ahh ya dma3’y..
(I’m having an aching leg, neck, back and a head)

In conclusion, no single part in my body is not aching.. why is that?! Here is the story.

One of my main goals since I ever came to that world was to loose weight :( I can’t remember a single moment this hasn’t been one of my targets. It’s a fact that I’m over weight.. and that I love to eat.. and I don’t do a lot of effort.. I think you could guess the result.

Since I was 9 years old.. or may be younger I started playing sports.. I almost passed by every sport we had in the club. Starting from swimming, Taekwondo, Tennis, basketball, speedball, ping pong, Judo.. those that I reached a good level in was swimming, Taekwondo and basketball.. but unfortunately, I wasn’t persistence enough at that time to complete my way through.

After leaving all these sports.. I used to go to the aerobics.. but I stopped after a short while.

Through out these years, I was over weight, but my body was kinda fit.. I had no problem in performing the exercises.

Stopped for a very long while.. about 7 years.

Lately, I’ve been gaining a lot of weight, and I had to take an action about it. Finally, managed to get over my laziness and started going to the aerobics from today.

Tell you the truth, I was shocked at the deteriorated level I’ve reached of fitness. However I was extremely happy.. felt energetic.. it’s not only good for the body, it’s very healthy for the soul as well.. I’m happy to have overcame my laziness and did what is good for myself, just hope this energy doesn’t vanish soon.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:14 AM, | 7 comments

Sunday & Monday

Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Sunday
At about 4:30 felt I need to go out, called a friend, but she was busy. I hanged up with her while thinking of someone else to go out with. After less than one minute, I got an sms from Rain asking if I’ll be able to join them in an outing.. Hurray, that’s what I needed. Called her immediately, told her I’m joining wherever they are going.

Actually I had a preference for the place, but didn’t want to enforce it. Found that they don’t mind it, so I suggested the place I want to go to. It was ceramic café, I like the place, but most important I like it for the same reasons kids like it for, the ceramic. There, you could buy a plain ceramic pots, it could be a mug, plate, vase, etc.. they offer you the colors, the brush, and you could color it there :D

To be honest, I only saw kids coloring, but I couldn’t resist it. I got a mug, and started coloring. It felt amazing. Was very happy, to the extent I didn’t want to finish. Was finally done with it, with the help of my friends suggesting colors.. and at the end it looked very nice.. Will be putting it’s picture here after I get it on Saturday.

Monday
Was my third time to the Spring Flowers exhibition at el Orman park. I couldn’t not resist it. Each time I go there, I’m more addicted. Plants and flowers are just amazing. I got my
lucky bamboo from there, a beautiful small Guzmania, and two Gerberas. Lucky BambooGuzmania
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:06 PM, | 6 comments

Tagged

Monday, April 10, 2006
Thank you Message in a bottle for the tag.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
”you are now at the point where you need to answer the question, …” The McGraw-Hill Guide to starting your own business.

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I want to sleep.

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Jewel in the palace, a Korean TV Drama.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
2:00 A.M.

5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
2:11 A.M.

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Silence

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This eveing, was having an outing with my friends.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My graduation photos.

9. What are you wearing?
Twins and a skirt.

10. Did you dream last night?
Don’t know

11. When did you last laugh?
This evening

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Some frames.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
What is not weird these days!

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Nice one.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Rumor has it, a very bad one. The one before it was Memories of a Geisha.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A school.

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
Tell me the things you know.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Eliminate Rules

19. Do you like to dance?
It depends, what kind, but generally yes.

20. George Bush.
What about him?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I’m considering naming her Moon, seriously.

22.Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Don’t have a certain one, may be Adam.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
No

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
It's not a must , only if you would like to

Alina
Blue, I know you stopped blogging, but do that one for me.
Sarah,
Haal, you owe me one, but still if you don’t like to, don’t make it.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:25 AM, | 4 comments

The purpose of life

Saturday, April 08, 2006
An inner voice that I’ve been trying to shut up and ignore for a while was awakened by صاحب الأشجار's post. It made me feel that I’m not the only one who thinks like that.

That thought has always crossed my mind, couldn’t we just live our lives happily without having to torture our lives by going to work?! Why do we put to ourselves many procedures and rules to make ourselves happy?! Why do we say that’s how life is?! It’s not how life is, it’s how we made it to be.

The answer that myself finds for me was the typical answer of “that’s how life is”. I can’t live all my life doing what I want. That’s what I’ve been told. I had a feeling of rejection for that idea, but I surrendered to it, to the idea of I have to make a living of my own, and that’s the way for it, and I find it logical. I know that life is not all about money, however, it’s needed for me to carry out all the activities I want. I won’t be able to buy a book, attend a concert, buy materials for my hand crafts if I can’t afford them.

Since I was still a college student, I’ve always wanted to have my own private business. Wanted to be the boss of my own, I hate having a boss, I hate having deadlines to meet, which I never meet.. I just want to be the master of my own world.

Unfortunately, I discovered this isn’t easy to happen. Currently I’m working as an employee in a company. In the eyes of all surrounding people, they believe I’m lucky to be where I am. I drive them angry when I uncover my need to leave work.

Can not but think of the day I’ll leave, it’s not because I don’t like where I am, actually I’m starting to get used to it, but I can never give up my dream of being my own boss.

I’m trying to compromise with myself, telling her that for me to carry out my dreams I need experience and money. I’m considering my current status just a step towards my bigger dream.

If you ask me what do I want out of this life, I’d say I need to have a positive effect on people’s life. To feel that I’m of an added value. I need to do that through something I enjoy doing. I don’t need money for the sake of money, I just need it to fulfill my dreams.

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” Robert Byrne
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:08 PM, | 4 comments

Diversity.. almost contradictory!

From el wekkala to Sheraton to an orphans house to checking on latest car models!!

It just added more wonderings to my current wonderings about that life!
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:16 PM, | 3 comments

The pink or the red

Friday, April 07, 2006
The pink or the red.. the red or the pink.. I chose the pink, didn’t feel like it.. changed into the red.

Yes, that’s what I needed, to remind myself of that day. Remind?! Did I forget at the first place?! Was in need to feel this moment again, and I did. Wearing the same thing, the same odor, everything was identical, but it was missing you.

I know you might not even notice that this moment passed by your life, but still I don’t mind. It’s enough for me to recall it every now and then.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:52 PM, | 2 comments

Almost True

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have low agreeableness.
Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.
In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.
And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:48 PM, | 0 comments

May I remove them from the dictionary?!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Rules
Regulations
limitations
Laws
Boundaries
Should
Must
Limits
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 10:19 PM, | 3 comments

Do we know what makes us happy?!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Since I started work about 6 months ago, I had my plans to go work walking. It’s very near, about 15 minutes of walking, and it takes about 3 minutes by car.

There was a main reason for me delaying that plan up till now. I’m incapable of waking up early. Tried a lot, but the result is always postponing till it’s 8, and I should be at work by 8:30. This 30 minutes is barely enough to take a quick shower, think what will I wear, put on my clothes and hurry downstairs to try and be at work by 8:45.

If I managed to wake up by 7:15, that will be more than enough for me to carry out my plans. However, I was never able to do that. 7:15 is postponed to 7:30 then to 7:45 till it’s 8.

I’m really tired of that every morning struggle. The funny thing, I never lose hope. For continuous 6 months!!

Tried every possible way to make myself get up early. Tried sleeping early, tried waking up two hours earlier, tried giving myself something to do early in the morning to make it a must for me to wake up. Nothing worked out. When it comes to sleeping, it’s my first priority, even if I have other important stuff.

Starting this week, I had very urgent stuff at work that I should finish as early as possible, delaying it didn’t make me feel good about myself. I decided that I should go at least half an hour earlier if not an hour.

First day, I was planning to wake up at 7, postponed it to 7:15, but relatively that was still early. Doing that for once, made me feel the bliss of waking up early. First of all, I wasn’t in a hurry, did everything relaxed. Had my time to think, wasn’t in a hurry on the stairs. It made me feel relaxed.

Today, I did the same, woke up at 7:20, and went to work about 8:10. Was very happy. I’m at work in time, I’m not pressured because I’m late, I was not in a hurry.

These two days made me realize something. Sometimes we don’t know what would make us happy. We think doing or having certain things is what will bring us happiness, but they don’t. That was definitely the case, I thought that 15 or 30 minutes more sleep will make me happy or will satisfy me. But, on the contrary, it turned out that giving up those few minutes of sleeping made me more happy.

Thinking about it more. I realized that I’ve never knew how to make myself happy. May be sometimes I manage to, however, the general case is I don’t know how. I imagine that doing or having certain things will make me happy, but actually they don’t.

I still I wonder, would I ever know how to make myself happy.
 
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:48 PM, | 7 comments