Saturday, July 30, 2005
If you are to choose the first dance in your wedding, which song would that be?
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:31 PM, |
Thursday, July 28, 2005
I’m not in a good mood. Bored to death, and very lazy to do anything. All I’m doing is sleeping and eating, I guess my weight is increasing exponentially.
Though I’ve got plenty of things to do, but I’m just lazy to do anything! Have a number of books to read, hand crafts to finish, and some exercises to do. But doing nothing.
Is it that thing that was cancelled today the reason for that?! Umm.. may be. I just wish that it’s not cancelled forever!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 7:31 PM, |
Since I was in preparatory, I have been interested in psychology, and especially psychological tests. At that time, I didn’t know many people around having the same interest. I sometimes took these tests seriously, other times it was just for having fun. Same goes for character analysis according to horoscopes. I like knowing and reading about it, but I don’t take things very serious. Meaning, things don’t stick to my mind, it’s spontaneous.
Lately, I’ve been in touch with many people who are having that same interest of mine. But surprisingly, they are addicted to it, and take it more seriously than I do. I feel that they just project the results of tests on their character. They take it for granted, and try acting according to these results. I don’t know why I don’t think that’s a proper way of self discovery.
I definitely believe that these tests are a way for getting to know the person we are. But still it’s not everything. It’s not the only way to know ourselves.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:33 AM, |
Fake it till you make it.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:30 AM, |
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I need some change.. any kind of change.. I thought I’d do something quickly, and changed how my blog looks like.
Though I liked the template very much, but seems I’m not the one who likes change. Yes, I’m attached to anything quickly, even if it’s how my blog looks like.. it wasn’t easy for me to accept it’s new look.. So, I’m back to the old one.
That’s the same with everything else.. hard to change, though in need to do.
Change or not to?! What do you think?!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 3:43 PM, |
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Umm.. I feel somehow disappointed. My day wasn’t that good. I had another interview today, which didn’t go that well. Plus, I was looking forward to meet a couple of friends, but it was cancelled.
But you know what, in the middle of the interview I was wishing not to be accepted. The whole thing wasn’t promising. To start with, the interviewer came about an hour late! That was enough for me to go away and never come back. But I waited!
During that hour I waited there, I don’t know why I felt I’m in one of those governmental organizations. The interview wasn’t held in a professional way at all. Then he turned it into a technical exam, and gave me a task to do, though I should be notified about that before I go to the interview.
I don’t like such surprises, I wasn’t in the mood to do it, and that confused me somehow. I was stuck with a very trivial thing that wasn’t working. I thought, ok, that’s the end of it, I don’t wanna work here, I want to get out immediately from here.
I asked the interviewer to check what I’ve done. He said “you didn’t complete the task”. I said yes, and told him that I’m stuck with something. He gave me a hint about it, and asked me to complete. He told me I need to come and find you did something that shows that you are with the very good grade. At the moment, the child inside me was about to burst into tears. I kept holding myself as much as I can. I would have really looked funny!!
The surprising part was, I finished the rest of the task in no time. Seems that he provoked me that much to the extent that he aroused my stubbornness and persistence. Anyways, he told me that I might start training there, and I’ll be getting a call within this week.
I’m confused, despite the fact that I didn’t like the whole atmosphere there, I feel I should go, at least I might get experience.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:01 PM, |
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Is it becoming the norm these days to wake up each day to hear about that number of bombings everywhere in the world?!
I wonder where the world is heading to!!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 9:41 AM, |
Friday, July 22, 2005
It's amazing how some people try to tie themselves to some logical rules and explanations, while they are the first ones who don't believe in logical explanation for things.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:04 PM, |
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Once we went to the optician to buy my mum an eyeglasses. After we chose it, and we were taking the receipt, the man writing the receipt asked mum for her name to write it down. She told him, Mrs. H. (where H. is my father’s name). The man thought he heard it wrong, and asked for it again. Then, he wrote down Mrs. S. (where S. is a female name somehow similar to H.).
After we went out, I asked mum “Why didn’t you tell him your name?” She answered, I’m not supposed to do. That’s the norm, a women is called with her husband’s name. That even happens in western countries. She added that even some women are called by their son’s name, for example, Om Ahmed (Ahmed’s mother).
I really was annoyed for such a way of thinking. I don’t know what’s in a women’s name that they don’t say it in public?!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:35 AM, |
I’ve heard that statement for two consecutive days. Yesterday, went to buy a train ticket, but they said the computer isn’t working!!
Today I went to the traffic station.. and they said the same thing, the computer isn’t working!!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 5:29 AM, |
Came yesterday from the North Coast, to find Cairo having that horrible hot weather. I’ve always wished that weather doesn’t affect my mood, but it always does.
I couldn’t say that I spent a wonderful time there, nor it was bad. It was the normal. Last week I had that IBM exam. I didn’t feel good about it. They were about 7 exams for about 5 or 6 hours, things weren’t organized by anyway, I didn’t expect it to be like this.
People around were solving the exam in groups. Even that they are cheating in!!
The surprise I got when I came back yesterday was, some people heard that IBM decided they won’t take anyone from my faculty as a result of what happened in that exam.
I’ve always hated generalizations.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 12:44 PM, |
Saturday, July 09, 2005
How does it feel when Silence does the Talking?!
posted by MoonLightShadow at 11:26 PM, |
Communication with other people has been such a big issue for me. Being an introvert by nature makes it difficult for me to get along easily with other people. Especially if I’m introduced to them for the first time, in such situations I can’t act in a friendly. Some might think of that as being rude, but I’m not. I just don’t know where to start and most of the time I feel that these first time relations are superficial. Although, I might find someone having the same interests of mine, and that’s where a communication might start.
I’m very quiet, and I don’t talk a lot except when something triggers me to talk, it’s only then when I could go blabbering for a long time.
As a result of me not having that ability of breaking the ice, it takes me a very long time to develop a deep relation with someone. That might last for a year or so. Through this long period of time, I get to know about the person, their way of thinking, and their way of dealing with people.
I believe that these relations that are built by that slow pace, are the relations that last for long time, coz they are a result of mutual understanding and acceptance between people.
Despite all that, I still try to keep a distance between me and people. It’s a thin line which I try my best not to cross. Crossing that line means that this relation has developed to an intimate relation which has two contradictory results which are loving and hating the person.
That person becomes part of me, whom I’d never hide anything from and I’d be always an open book for. But the other result is, I get very attached to this person. Just the thought of losing them might get me mad. That feeling of attachment is sometimes translated into a possessive attitude. It’s then when a conflict is created inside me.
When the relation is developed to that point, I really need a certain kind of treatment. And that’s what I mean by mutual understanding. To be understood by the other side, and not to be mistakenly judged by things that I do unintentionally. Coz I need that kind of intensive care from close people to me. I might refuse that kind of care from other people, but I need it from those whom I care for.
Being aware of all this, leads me to blame myself for being that over sensitive person, and I always blame myself for spoiling any relation. I always accuse myself of being the person I am and not changing that about me, and I feel that I’m always the result for any conflicts that arise.
The result of accusing myself is turning to be aggressive to try to protect myself from other people. Trying to avoid being hurt.
It’s amazing how this is the normal scenario for most of my relations with people.
Despite the fact that I blame myself for that.. but still other sides are to be blamed. They didn’t understand me enough, or they understood me but they didn’t care enough.
I don’t know.. it hurts to feel that people you need around aren’t there for you.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 8:59 PM, |
Friday, July 08, 2005
Umm.. it has been sometime. I must admit I missed being here, seems I became a blogging addict. I just came from the North Coast, going tomorrow to el 3ein el so7’na, and will be back at the same day.
Saturday, I’ll be having a lecture by IBM, then on Sunday I’ll be having an exam for IBM. After I finish I’ll be going back to the North Coast for another week.
Well, I had my results out.. got a total grade of very good and an excellent for the graduation project. I wonder why I wasn’t happy as I expected.
I had a horrible time there looking for an Internet connection coz I needed it urgently. Finally, after looking for a long time I found an Internet café. I really hate them. I feel distracted and less comfortable than being at home.
What else happened there? umm.. nothing. It was boring.. boring. Morning at the beach then watching TV by the afternoon or sleeping, nothing more. Thinking about it, I realized that I’ve been going to the same place for 13 years!! Amazing, I must be bored by now. I go to the same place, with the same people, and do the same things for 13 years. It’s time to say enough.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 2:03 AM, |
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Tomorrow by dawn I’ll be heading to the North Coast for about a week or two, seeking a peaceful vacation.
I don’t know if an Internet connection will be available there or not. Wish the Internet café will be opened, though I hate it.
Before I go, I’ll leave you with this,
Does a man make a situation, or a situation makes a man?!
Waiting to know what do you think.
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:18 AM, |
A very big thank you goes to my friends who shared me tonight. You all made me do things I never thought I’d do. I really enjoyed my time :)
posted by MoonLightShadow at 1:06 AM, |